Body and Soul
by MaybeThere'sHope
Summary: Jonathan Morgenstern absolutely hates Downworlders and any Shadowhunter who associates with them. So he's come up with a genius plan: If they want to ally with each other so much, let them know how it REALLY feels to be one with each other. Lemons.
1. AN and Important Points for Readers

**Well all, I'm back! Did you miss me? I hope a little bit, but too much to cause withdrawal. I love all you guys and I've decided to try something with this fic. I was re-reading Call Me by the AH-MAY-ZING ariviand the other day, and I wanted to steal an idea. I'm going to try to reply to every review I get. I sometimes find the time to reply with PMs, but I want to show the world how much I appreciate each one of you. So I'm going to broadcast my replies in my posts. Good idea? Yay or Nay? Lemme know. **

**For now, I'm going to start in on this new story. There are, however, a few things I need to cover first:**

**1) This takes place roughly 6 months after the end of Glass. **

**2) Everything from the books (major events, etc.) is the same, with one glaring exception: NO ONE knows about Magnus and Alec's relationship. Take a moment to reflect on what that means for those of you who are sticklers for accuracy. That means no one picks up on the little nuances between them (maybe a little, but nothing out of the ordinary), no argument with Jace about how he doesn't care, no epically awesome makeout session in the Hall of Accords, etc. Just think about those little details before you hang me for something I've "forgotten" about the story. HOWEVER! If I mess up on something that isn't defined by the above criteria, please bring it to my attention. I have read all three books about 7 times, but I'm still human. I usually go back and fact-check, but sometimes I'm lazy. So just shoot me a polite PM if something is really bothering you, or if you have questions. I don't bite, I swear!**

**3)In this story, Jonathan Morgenstern is alive. Obviously, since he's the main antagonist. He's particularly enraged about Valentine's death and he thinks he's following in the footsteps his father would have wanted. Valentine hated Downworlders and any Shadowhunter who associated with them, so he's cooked up a little plan to make all their lives a living hell. He's gotten his hand back too, somehow. **

**4) This is another angst-filled Malec story, as per my usual MO. A few lemons, but lots of hurt. Honestly, there are a couple of endings I'm trying to choose from, so it could either end up lovey-dovey and good, or not so good for our favorite boys. It's up to my brain and my fingers when I get to the forks in the road, so to speak. **

**With all that said, I'm going to get to work on all the madness that is this story. I just wanted to clear a few things up before I started, and maybe tease you a little. Sorry for those of you who Author Alert me and you thought the story was actually starting today. But you liked the promise of good things to come, right? If you would, review and tell me what you think so far, if you have any opinions at all. **

**For those of you who didn't follow my other stories, I posted this at the end of Flow of Power and Everything Is Governed:**

* * *

It's going to be called Body and Soul. Yes, that's a reference to the subject matter. As per my usual routine, it will be angsty and full of Malec. You know you love it. I'll give you a little tidbit of it that doesn't really ruin the story or anything, but it does give you a general gist of the antagonist:

_"You know what I hate more than anything, though?" Jonathan sneered. "Pure, unadulterated, completely mutual, one hundred percent true _love_." He anunciated each word with enough venom to murder an elephant. Then, he poured the gleaming contents of the vial into the slack jaw of the unconcious boy as the rest looked on in horror._

Jonathan Morgenstern really, really, hates Downworlders. Just thought I should let you know. In this particular story, I think I'm going to change up something from the books again. In this story, NO ONE KNOWS about our beloved Malec. They are good at keeping secrets. But apparently, not good enough.

* * *

**So, yea. There you go.**

**I also made a better summary that I'm sure you saw when you clicked on this…**

**Much love and hope to see some new excitement soon,**

**Brooke**


	2. Shoved Under the Proverbial Rug

**Alrighty. We're finally here. Since I was so longwinded in my setup, I'll just get on with it and let the ride begin.**

**Characters all belong to the wonderful Cassandra Clare. **

**Chapter Song: Mouth by Bush (Seriously, look up the lyrics. Fits Magnus' mood perfectly.)**

**Alec POV**

He felt like shit. He'd seen how angry Magnus was when he left. The warlock had been at the Institute, consulting with Maryse about something or other, and Alec had happened upon them in the library. Magnus' face lit up, as it does involuntarily every time he lays eyes on Alec. Alec took this in and immediately looked to his mother, wondering dreadfully if she had caught the change in Magnus' expression before he concealed it. But his mother had been looking at him, standing there like an idiot in the doorway.

"What is it, Alexander?" she asked, unaware of his heart rate skyrocketing.

"Oh, n-nothing. Sorry," he stuttered, making to leave the room.

"No it's ok. Mr. Bane and I are finished. Thank you for your help, Magnus," she said to him. She came toward the door and stopped in front of Alec, giving him a concerned look. As concerned as she was capable of, anyway.

"Alec, are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost or something."

Alec couldn't stammer a reply.

"Have you eaten any of Isabelle's spaghetti? You look a little sick. You might have food poisoning," she said as she examined him closer, putting a hand to his forehead. He moved out of her reach.

"Yeah, that's it. I had a plate earlier. I'll just go lie down."

"Alright. Feel better," she said, then left the room. Alec stared at the ground, trying to prolong the inevitable for a little longer before he was able to take in the look he knew Magnus would be wearing.

When he finally allowed his eyes to lift, he was not surprised. Magnus knew exactly why he'd reacted the way he did. He was scared that his mother would pick up on their relationship. And to Alec, that was a death sentence. The warlock's face held all the hurt Alec knew he felt. He knew that Magnus felt like his dirty little secret, and not in a good way. He knew Magnus was sick of being kept shoved in the back of the closet.

As they just stared each other down silently, Magnus' expression changed. The hurt was still there, underneath, but fury began to rise up in his slit pupils. Alec knew it as fury because of the angry tears that always welled up when Magnus was at the end of his rope with anger.

The warlock said nothing. Just grabbed his leopard print trench coat off the arm of a couch, buttoning it over his slim chest. Then he began to walk toward Alec. Alec's breathing hitched, as it always did when Magnus was near. It brought back memories of their naked chests pressed together under Magnus' comforter, lips feverishly sucking on everything they came in contact with. As Magnus drew closer, Alec's heartbeat rose, as it always did. Closer, closer, just a foot away now. Then he was past Alec and out the door, leaving Alec with no contact whatsoever except the breeze that brushed his shoulder as the warlock passed.

**Magnus POV**

He kicked the remains of a rather expensive jar of Clinique moisturizer across the floor in frustration. He'd be sorry for it later, but for now he was still pissed. Once again, he'd been swept under the proverbial rug. Or rather, shoved back to the back of Alec's mental closet. He nearly slipped in the greasy substance as he stomped toward his bathroom.

He took stock of his dreadful appearance. His hair was a disaster, having been ripped at and pulled for the past half hour. His mascara was running down his face, giving away the angry tears he'd been glad to conceal long enough so that the Shadowhunter wouldn't see. His clothes were askew. He tried for a moment to pretend like he didn't give a damn, like he was too angry. But then he mentally conceded that he _did_ give a damn, and his wrecked appearance just made him angrier.

He punched the mirror. Before it was too late, he waved his hand to erase the star shaped shattering before it could all rain down onto the counter. He sighed and went back to his room, flinging himself down on the familiar canary yellow comforter.

Then he was mad all over again, sending stinging black mascara stains rolling again when he thought about all the sweet, tender, completely _secret_ moments they had shared in this bed.

He told himself he wasn't sad. He just cried when he was extremely angry. He'd always hated that about himself. But he couldn't get his inner self to believe that this was just anger. He was genuinely hurt every time Alec basically disowned him when one of his family, or friends, or basically anyone passing on the street seemed to give the pair a second glance. Even when they were standing across the room from each other, he knew Alec was terrified that onlookers were calculating the attachment between them.

_How could anyone suspect? _Magnus thought. They never touched in public. Ever. Besides that night on the East River in the bed of Luke's truck, they (meaning Alec) made the best effort to appear as indifferent to each other as possible. For Alec's sake, it was paying off. No one knew that they had secretly been dating since Magnus finally convinced Alec to come within 5 feet of him. After that, and their first kiss, it had been a whirlwind of kissing and touching and groping, behind closed doors of course.

Not that they hadn't noticed the eldest Lightwood's frequent, prolonged absences, particularly at night. But they thought nothing of it, he assumed. After all, he was 18, an adult. For all Alec's family knew, he was sneaking around with a hot faerie girl behind their backs. And they didn't care one bit.

But what if they knew the truth? That Alec's first kiss was with a man? An older man? A Downworlder? A warlock? A High Warlock? A High Warlock that they frequently invested in the services of? Alec thought about this all the time. Magnus knew, because he would visibly shudder every time the thought crossed his mind.

However, when the topic of his family finding out was _not_ on his mind, Alec was almost relentless when it came to canoodling. With the exception of popping his cherry, Magnus had introduced Alec to just about every naughty thing two boys could entertain themselves with.

But it wasn't all sex, all the time. The pair had grown immensely in another aspect. Even though he was pissed and hurt beyond belief, Magnus had to acknowledge that Alec certainly meant it every time he spoke those three beautiful words that stopped the earth from spinning while they were uttered. Every time, Magnus' heart would flutter, and he would answer with the same. They were doubtless attached in every single way. In fact, the only thing missing from their relationship was flat out PDA. And Alec would drop dead before he could be coaxed into even brushing up against Magnus in front of _anyone_.

Sighing again, Magnus lifted himself up and trudged back to the bathroom to repair his shattered appearance, cleaning up the mess with a nonchalant wave of his hand.

**Okay, so this first chap is certainly a lot shorter than you're used to coming from me, but I just really wanted to get started! So how'd you like it so far? Please review! I'm working on the next chapter as we speak, and having reviews to read and encourage me will make it come that much faster!**

**Also, as promised, I'm going to start replying to reviews in chaps, so here goes:**

**DisturbingEmily: Thanks for procrastinating in favor of reading my stories! I procrastinate to write them! We'll have to start our random messages again lol…I miss them. **

**bLaCkxxxRoS3: I hope it's as interesting as you hoped!**

**The PerfectAspiration: Wait no more! Here you go! Hope you liked it.**

**StoryKitten: Is it as intriguing to you still, after having read the first chapter? I'm hoping you still love the concept when I actually get to the good stuff. I'm kind of winging it here lol.**

**Bookworm24601: It might end happily, but it might not. I'm evil like that. And even if it does end happily, you know from reading my other stories that they will go through hell before we get there.**

**READINGisLIFE: I hope you still think it's awesome! Thanks for looking forward to it so much. I love putting people in suspense! As for the (maybe) not-so-good ending, read the reply above.**

**ScaRlett1122: I hope I got this out in time! Although, organ confetti sounds cool…but I just hope you don't have any floating around.**

**Nijigoneko: Thanks a bunch. And I'll let you in a little secret…*whispers* I like it when people cry at my stories…mwahahaha! Lol it just says that I touched you deeply with my words. Yay. *smiles***


	3. Am I Forgiven?

**Gah! I'm back already. I just posted the first chap. Literally, I clicked submit, and then opened up a new Word window to start on this one! Hope you like it. Love you, my little reviewers. You keep me strong. (I see some are reviewing even before I've started typing. Geez you guys must love me or something…hehe)**

**Also, with this story, I'm going to revert back to something I did with Connected: a playlist. I didn't do this for EIG or FoP cuz, well, I was just lazy. But I'm bringin' it back, peeps! (The song for the last one was Mouth by Bush. Fits Magnus' mood perfectly. Seriously, Google the lyrics.)**

**Chapter Song: Conviction by Chris Daughtry (communicating Magnus' hurt in the beginning, while still providing an angsty background for the good stuff to come later in the chap) *BTW this song is really old, I think. His song Breakdown off his first album is the same song with a different chorus, so if you have that one, I guess it'll substitute***

**Magnus POV**

He was patting his face dry with a hot pink hand towel when he heard the knock on the door. He growled to himself, thinking about pretending he wasn't home. He didn't feel like seeing any clients right now. But alas, they had most likely seen the lights on through his bedroom window, so he figured he'd better go down and not risk his front door being bashed in by an angry werewolf. Again.

He stalked into the living room, surly, aggravated expression firmly in place. He went to the door and pushed the button for the intercom.

"What?" he growled.

"Um, can I come up?" a small voice said.

Magnus hated the fact that his heart leapt ten stories at the sound of that voice. He was still mad as hell. He wasn't sure if he could look on those pale blue eyes and keep his bitchy attitude going, though, and he wanted to stay mad for a while. It was soothing in a sick way.

"Well, I'm not sure it's safe. Others could be watching and see you come up. What on earth would they think? 'A Shadowhunter going into a High Warlock's home in the dead of night? The scandal! I wonder if they are having nasty naughty sex against the door right _now_!'" Magnus taunted in a high pitched voice that was modeled after what he remembered society women in London sounded like.

"I…I don't care," came the very quiet reply.

"Ha. I'll buy that when I see it on your face, Shadowhunter. There's no one out there."

"No, there's not."

"Because you looked every which way a hundred times before you approached the door."

"Magnus, are you going to let me in or not?" he was getting a little frustrated, Magnus could tell. Let him.

"I'm getting ready for bed. Not sure I could be bothered at the moment." He was bluffing, but the boy didn't know that. However, he underestimated Alec's cajones, because apparently he had whipped out the key Magnus had given him. Magnus jumped back when he heard the door to the street slam and heavy-booted steps trudge up the stairs.

He backed away from the door, taking care to keep his pissed off face intact, as Alec walked in. The boy looked up, and Magnus suddenly found it very, very hard to keep his attitude. This also made him very angry, since his whole strategy at getting the boy to apologize profusely hinged on him thinking the warlock was still pissed.

But damnit, those eyes got him. Every fucking time.

"Magnus," Alec started. He took a deep, fortifying breath. "I'm sorry about earlier." He looked like a kicked puppy.

Well, no need for the bitch-ness anymore. He got what he wanted.

"I know. I'm sorry I stormed out," the warlock replied in a defeated tone. He knew Alec would do it again. Alec knew Alec would do it again. It was just a matter of time. But for now, they were together so why waste it?

Magnus crossed the room and put his arms around the boy's waist. Alec leaned into him and slid his arms around Magnus' neck. Their lips came together naturally. Slow at first, then picking up intensity. Magnus hummed low in his throat and Alec sighed into the kiss. Magnus' tongue took the opportunity to explore his mouth. Alec was willing, massaging back with his own tongue.

They continued to gain feeling, beginning to nip and bite at each other's lips occasionally. As they kissed, Alec began to lead them blindly back towards the bedroom. For an instant, a thought crept into Magnus' head (as it always did when they were making this same path to his bedroom) that maybe this was the night. But he pushed it down, knowing Alec would come around in time. That particular experience, Magnus had decided long ago, would be worth the wait.

For now, he was content to have the Shadowhunter nibbling at his lower lip and pushing him toward his huge comfy bed. When his calves hit the side, he fell backwards, taking Alec with him. Or maybe Alec pushed him. Either way, he enjoyed the feeling of Alec's lean muscular chest pressing him down into the mattress.

Magnus scooted backwards so that their legs were only partly hanging off the side of the bed. Alec's nipping teeth were at his ear now, and he sighed in pleasure. The Shadowhunter's hands were roaming, rubbing all over his torso, working down to his hips and squeezing. Magnus' hands roamed in return, reaching down to squeeze Alec's ass. God, you could bounce a quarter off that thing.

Alec's lips started working lower, down his neck to his collarbone. He began unbuttoning the Versace shirt Magnus was still wearing.

"Ready for bed, huh?" he asked in a husky voice, pausing to suck on the spot just below the base of Magnus' throat. "Since when do you sleep in _clothes_?"

"Well, I was cold," Magnus replied weakly.

"Uh huh. Sure," Alec said as he slid his tongue over one of Magnus' nipples. It hardened to stone in an instant and Magnus moaned. His hands slid into Alec's unruly hair and hugged him closer to his chest, not wanting it to stop.

"Whatever. You caught me. Just please don't stop," he whined as Alec's teeth bit down gently on his hard nipple, tweaking the other one with his free hand.

As if to taunt him, Alec lifted his mouth off the spot, causing Magnus to whimper.

"You look like you _were_ sleeping. Your hair looks like shit." He knew it was just to get a rise out of him. Magnus liked to be pushed around a little bit. He wasn't into full on bondage and masochism and all that, but he liked it a little rough.

"Fuck you," Magnus groaned.

"You wish," was the sly answer, coming from somewhere close to the dip at his hips. He felt hot breath waft over his stomach and his cock jerked. He was harder than hell right now, and he was desperately wishing Alec wouldn't stop. He gave the boy's hair a gentle tug.

He looked down and nearly whimpered again. Alec had undone the button on his skinny jeans and his teeth were clamped on the zipper. He managed to smile coyly with it in his mouth, then started slowly pulling it down. Magnus kept his gaze, mesmerized as the boy proceeded to pull his pants and briefs down just enough for his erection to spring free.

He absolutely _loved_ when Alec got that look on his face. That expression that looked so damn _hungry_ when he saw Magnus' nether regions. If Magnus didn't know, he'd just assume Alec was as out and proud as he could be, given the complete lack of apprehension when it came to stuff like this. He had held onto his virginity because they both wanted the time to be special, and that involved having ample time guaranteed interruption-free. But other than that, they had mastered every other possible kind of sexual act one could engage in.

Magnus had been surprised at how fast Alec picked it up, since he was so squeamish in the beginning, and still remained so squeamish in front of others. But at times like these, he simply didn't give a damn. This side of Alec made up for most of it.

When the boy's mouth closed around the head of his cock, Magnus lost all coherent thought, except the one that he had made a mental note of long ago: Apparently, virgins gave the best blowjobs.

**Alec POV**

He sucked on the head for a second, then came away. He looked back up at his warlock boyfriend, who looked absolutely dazed. He always reveled in the notion that he could do this to such a powerful being, bring him straight to his knees with just a caress of his lips. Well technically, he amended, Alec was the one "on his knees". But whatever.

He licked his lips and descended again, shoving Magnus all the way to the back of his throat.

"Jesus fucking Christ," came the weak voice from above. He smiled around his prize. He began to move his head back up, coming almost all the way off before plunging down again. He tasted so damn good, and it felt like silk laid over stone against his tongue.

Alec had allowed a small, fleeting thought before he had begun: Since when did he use sexual favors to get out of messing up with Magnus? Did that make him a little less honest? He decided not. He and Magnus both got what they wanted this way, they were both happy. He had apologized in the doorway, so the fight had been over. This was just because he loved to do it, to see Magnus squirm above him and feel his muscles tighten and his cock jump in his mouth. Not because he was trying to take Magnus' mind off the fact that he had, yet again, disowned him in front of his family.

Alec pushed the thought away as he began to bob his head up and down faster, earning a satisfying grunt from the warlock above him. He didn't even expect anything in return. He loved to do this, and it just about got him off anyway.

As Magnus neared his release, Alec went a little faster. He could tell Magnus was close, because the sharp fingernails that were raking his scalp started digging in harder and Magnus had gone quiet, no doubt biting his lip forcefully. He always did that when he was about to come. It was the only time he was completely silent.

But when Alec felt hot liquid shoot onto his tongue, he shoved him all the way down again and listened with pleasure as his name was called out over and over again. He came up, swallowed once, and went back down to get the rest that was still coming. When Magnus was empty, he looked up.

The warlock was looking down at him with a hazed expression. He smiled back coyly. He couldn't resist. "Am I forgiven?" he said in a raspy voice that just sounded all more the sexy for its cause.

"For what?" Magnus asked, but Alec knew that was his way of saying 'let's just forget about it'.

Alec licked his lips one last time and pulled Magnus' underwear back up. He pulled the warlock's jeans down off his feet and threw them to the floor among the other clutter about the room. He proceeded to remove his own pants and boots, watching as Magnus got the idea and leaned up to slide his unbuttoned shirt off his shoulders, contributing it to the growing pile next to the bed.

When they were both in their underwear they slid underneath the bright comforter and clung to each other. Alec thought about the day he would finally come clean to his family. He would, eventually, he knew. He just couldn't find the right way. 'Hey mom, hey dad, guess what? I'm gay. Guess what else? I'm dating a warlock. You know him. You employ his services all the time.' Awkward, much? He would think of a way, someday.

For now, he was content to be in their little world alone with his warlock. It felt like he belonged only to him, even though he knew Magnus had duties to the shadow world of New York. It felt like, to Alec, no one would ever know Magnus the way he did, and he was happy for it to stay that way.

They drifted off together, Alec dreaming of a day when he wouldn't be afraid anymore.

**Okay, that was generous. I gave you two chapters in what, an hour and a half or so? But guess what? You'll probably gonna get another chapter before I go to bed. We gotta see what's up with our villain, right? I know you're just waiting for me to get down to the angst…mwahahah!**

**READINGisLIFE: you get the official prize for fastest review ever lol. I got it on my phone right after I opened up the window to type this up. I was like wah? Damn! That was FAST! Lol hope you're still liking it.**

**Fly Away Dreams: I knew you were gonna miss me, so I started up as soon as I could! I miss your reviews too! One never forgets their first substantial reviewer. Remember, A Lesson in Curiosity has a second chapter (and I continued writing) because of you, sweets. Much love. And it's okay if it's bad for you. Bad can be so good! And tell Malec obsessed friends I love them too! **

**MorbidMandy: Well I hope this chapter made you happier! Less depressing, more Malec-y goodness. I did shove Alec into something for you…Magnus' pants kekeke.**

**taylor: Thank you for having such a high opinion of my writing. It keeps me going even when I think it's crap lol.**

**Bookworm24601: It'll be a good hell, if that makes any sense. I hope to keep you guys guessing!**


	4. Genius

**Alright, last chap of the night, people. No more! I mean it! Teeheehee.**

**Chapter Song: Voodoo by Godsmack**

**Cassie owns this one too.**

**Jonathan POV**

He tried to tune out the shrieking. He was trying to fucking concentrate. Why did they all have to be so god damned loud? He was rifling through the book in front of him, looking for the _right_ spell this time. He knew it existed, knew it in his heart, if he could be said to have one of those. It was just a matter of finding the right page.

He had looked through countless books and papers he had stolen from various warlocks, trying to find the spell he knew was out there somewhere. He had seen it in a vision. He felt it in his bones. And he was the most powerful being on earth (he thought), with his demon and angel blood mixture. He would be the one to wield it with success. And he would use it to make all those miscreants sorry. Those Shadowhunters who stooped so fucking low that they associated with Downworlders. Even in his mind, he spit the word with venom.

The vampire he had captured continued her wailing. He set his book down with a growl, walking over to her. She didn't shut up, even as he came closer with a look of death on his face. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a small stoppered bottle. He flung the contents in her face and she screamed as the holy water burned her skin.

"Shut up, filthy little bitch! I'm trying to concentrate."

"Why? Why are you doing this? Why won't you just let me go? I don't even drink human blood! Much less Shadowhunter blood. What have I done?" she whined pathetically, pulling at the fiery bindings at her wrists.

"Because you dug your way up out of the ground and now you're nothing but a filthy, pathetic piece of shit who lives off the lifeblood of higher creatures," he said slowly, turning to go back to his book. She didn't reply, just started screaming again.

He tried to tune it out. He looked back down at the page, his vision becoming blurred from so many words. And then he saw it. He almost smiled a genuine smile. Almost.

"Ah! This is it!" he said to himself. He kept the book open and carried it over to the table by the vampire. He had a stainless steel syringe ready, along with a vial to put his prize in. He had prepared for this for a while now. He was going to get his revenge.

"What are you doing?" she whined at him. He ignored her, lost in his triumph at finally locating it. He grabbed the syringe, holding it in his hand as he held up the book with the other.

He began reciting the ancient words, a language that sounded like the sparks of hellfire. It was beautiful to his own ears. _At least Downworlders are good for something,_ he thought. _If for nothing more than their own demise._

While speaking the last sentence of the incantation, he plunged the needle into her arm and began to pull back the plunger, sucking the desired contents into the barrel.

The vampire girl had gone silent, her eyes wide. He could tell it was working. She'd lost her voice. She was trying to scream, her mouth wide open, but nothing came out. Her fangs had disappeared, her eyes no longer shone with immortality. Her skin began to warm, and she started to gasp for breath. When he pulled the filled syringe out, he heard her heart start to beat. Tears were streaming down her flushed face.

"Doesn't that feel better?" he asked wickedly. She shook her head violently, still crying. Her struggles became weaker, without her vampire strength.

He carefully carried the syringe and its precious contents back over to the table. He grabbed the vial, inserted the needle and emptied its contents into the container. He pulled the cage sitting atop the table closer. The small white rabbit contained within it shuddered in fear. He opened the top, trapping the animal with his free hand. He brought it out, struggling and kicking. He forcefully shoved the vial into the creature's mouth and emptied the contents down its throat.

The rabbit went still in his hand. He set it back in the cage and closed the door. And waited.

He had almost given up hope, thinking the animal dead from just drinking the vial. But after a few more minutes, the rabbit began to stir again. It opened its eyes, which had turned an odd sort of shining gray. Jonathan didn't let himself smile just yet.

Then, the rabbit opened its mouth. Jonathan had time to see the small, needle-like fangs that had grown on either side of his front teeth before the small white creature was covered in red. It was coughing up blood, pouring it from its mouth and nose in torrents. It squealed and cried, struggling to breathe.

Now, Jonathan Morgenstern had the biggest, most evil grin on his face. He turned back to the girl, who now resembled a pathetic, battered human. She was still gasping, trying to get used to the need to breathe.

"See how disgusting you were? Don't you feel better now?" he asked with a smirk. She shook her head again, tears staining her cheeks. "No? Would you rather me just let you go now?" She nodded fervently, her eyes showing a spark of hope. He intended to keep his word about releasing her, although probably not in the way she thought. He walked over to her, and took off the magical binding on her hands. He easily overpowered her now. She looked up at him with terrified yet hopeful eyes. He laughed and jerked his hands so quickly, she never saw it coming. Her neck snapped and she fell to the floor.

Jonathan looked back at the fruit of his labors. The rabbit was still seizing, coughing up blood, and maiming itself with its newfound fangs. Its eyes were shining. He went over and took up a small dagger. He stuck his hand in the cage and ran the blade across the animal's back. He watched with sinister glee as the cut somewhat healed, but not completely. The rabbit was still suffering, because it had no actual vampire blood in it, which would be enough to make a human accept the change. No, this creature had taken in something else entirely.

He smiled once more at his own genius. He would show Shadowhunters what it really felt like to become equal with Downworlders.

**EEEK! Bad, bad Jonathan. Alright. This is all for tonight. I'm going to bed! Sweet dreams, all!**

**READINGisLIFE: You were first AGAIN! Lol congrats. And I'm glad I make you feel their emotions. I try. My goal with this story is to kind of get you to feel Jonathan's emotions too…well, whatever he has that's close to emotions anyway. You'll get more later.**

**Bookworm24601: Here you go! Hope you liked the little bit of Jonathan in this one and what he's up to. And they should be EVERYONE'S favorites, but sometimes it doesn't work out that way lol. But they are OUR favorites anyway.**

**Beybladeingninjaprincess: I'm proud of ya for reviewing! Thank you so much! And yes, I tried to make it realistic, cause I think it adds to the story that they are still sneaking around. However, as you can probably guess, they get a little sloppy later. **


	5. Like a Stone

**Hello all! Well, I haven't much to say in the way of A/Ns, so I will just get to it.**

**Cassie still calls them hers. But I'm working on that…mwahaha! (just kidding, Miss Clare.)**

**Chapter Song: Like a Stone by Audioslave (YOU MUST google these lyrics. This came on my iPod, and the words compelled me to write this chapter. Once again, it's Magnus' hopeless mood about the whole ordeal)**

**EVERYONE! One last thing: I really don't want to give you a hint this early, but I'm thinking that my suspenseful Jonathan chapter warrants it, based on the confused reviews. I will say only this: look at the title of this story. It was chosen carefully. Now, perhaps I've given the whole damn thing away. Keep reading anyway please?**

**Magnus POV**

_I'm still sorry. About everything._

That's what he woke up to this morning. A single torn piece of paper, with a note scribbled in a hurry, no doubt. But those five words conveyed so much about everything that was going on between them.

Magnus knew he shouldn't be mad that Alec had gotten up before the crack of dawn and snuck back to his own bed. His family would have worried if they'd found his room vacant. But he was mad. Because if Alec would just fucking own up to the relationship, and tell them where he went at night, then he wouldn't have to go rushing off before the rooster crowed just to keep up the pretense.

The warlock sighed as he rolled over in bed. He could still smell Alec's detergent. He wore that god forsaken sweater enough, he probably washed it everyday, because he always smelled like detergent. It was nice. He never wore cologne, something Magnus would usually protest about, but not with Alec. He was his own entity. Completely unlike Magnus' "type". Well, except for the eyes, that is. Magnus had a weak spot for blue eyes. But _especially_ Alec's.

He let out an unseemly grunt as he pulled himself out from under the sheets, trying to make himself face the day. It was nearly noon, almost time to open up for business, and he had to look his best.

He trudged to the bathroom and took a long hot shower. When he was done, he didn't open the bathroom door for a long while, trying to trap the steam in just a little while longer. But sooner or later it got in his way, fogging up the mirror and preventing the morning's primping routine from beginning. He wiped the mirror with his hand, causing the fog to streak across his face in the reflection.

What shall it be today? Spikes? Straight? Crimped? (he'd tried that once, in the eighties, and decided he sort of liked it. Although he hadn't tried it since). He decided on the emo look, brushing his cheek-length bangs across his right eye and holding them there with fingertips full of gel. When he had it placed just so, he admired his handiwork. Mysterious and alluring, all in all, fit for company.

He opted for minimal makeup, deciding on just a line of turquoise eyeliner on his lower lash line, and lots of Diorshow mascara. A bit of highlight on his cheeks and brow bones, and a touch of pale pink gloss and he was ready to face the world. Even if he was desperately wishing he had a certain someone by his side.

Clients came and went. Just another day at the office. Alec had texted him once, to say that he would try to make it over tonight, but not making any promises. Alec never made any promises, because then he wouldn't have to live with the guilt if he couldn't keep them. Magnus knew this, just as Alec did.

And yet, the warlock hung on texts like that as if they were a proposal of marriage. He was sometimes sickened by his lovestruck puppy attitude, but he couldn't seem to shake it. For now, he would just suck it up and continue to acquiesce to Alec's demands of secrecy. He knew they weren't just arbitrary. It was dangerous for someone like Alec to let his sexuality be known, in his line of work. They weren't very receptive to those who were different, whom they thought were lesser beings.

But the other half of the problem is what hurt the most. Because it seemed that when it came to Alec's family, he cared more about this particular detail: that it would get out that he was with a Downworlder. The Lightwoods were good people, but still old fashioned Shadowhunters when it came to their opinions about Downworlders. What would they think if they found out that their gay son was gallivanting around a particular Brooklyn bedroom with a particular warlock that they called on for various purposes all the time?

It's true, even if they weren't dating, Magnus would always help out the Lightwoods at a moment's notice just to get a glimpse of the gorgeous eldest son. But as it was, they _were_ dating, and his family got Magnus' help practically free of charge. Had they ever wondered why that was? It certainly wasn't because Maryse was such a doll to deal with.

He continued his inner argument with himself as afternoon turned to evening, which wore on into night. It was 9 o'clock before he received another text from Alec, saying he couldn't come tonight and please don't be angry and could they see each other tomorrow? Magnus replied that he would see what his schedule was like. In actuality, it didn't matter in the least. If Alec called, he'd drop everything. It was that simple. He was so stupid. And completely in love.

**Alec POV**

He'd felt bad for leaving before dawn, but Magnus had looked so peaceful while he slept, so much more than the desperate wreck Alec's guilty eyes usually made him out to be. He knew he hurt Magnus every time he jumped when someone mentioned the warlock's name, or when he refused to look at him even in a crowded room. He knew all this, and yet he continued to hurt him, because he felt he had no choice.

He would lose his job. His Marks, his future. Everything he lived for up until this point would be null and void, taken away. He couldn't bear that. Even worse, he'd have to hear his mother rant about the fact that not only was her son seeing a man, but that man was a Downworlder. He sighed and pulled at his hair, causing his scalp to tingle. Someday, he thought, I'll change this crap. Because he absolutely hated seeing that look in Magnus' eyes.

He had been training all morning, taking refuge in the sweat and sore muscles, just to make himself forget all that he had done to the man he loved more than life. He often thought to himself, if he felt this way, then why not take the risk and tell his parents. Just at the thought, his shoulders tensed up and he looked around to make sure he was, in fact, alone. How pathetic, he thought. You're embarrassed by your own thoughts.

After going back to his room and taking a long, soothing shower, he trudged downstairs to find that Isabelle had taken it upon herself to cook up a marvelous feast of roast chicken, mashed potatoes, soup, and rolls. Marvelously gross. He didn't know much about cooking, but he definitely had a hunch that mashed potatoes were _not_ green. But his reflexes were apparently slow today, and he didn't turn around in time.

"Alec! Come try to chicken! I think it came out ok," Isabelle said, turning around to face him and revealing an apron that said Don't Kiss Me, Just Eat! He swallowed down the bile that bubbled in his throat at the thought of a single bite passing his lips. But he was the ever dutiful brother. Perhaps this would do as punishment for the way he'd treated Magnus yesterday.

He choked down as much as he could take, which was a menial portion at that. He almost coughed up the last of his chicken, though, when Isabelle's next words came out of her mouth.

"Have fun last night?" she asked.

"What?" he stuttered when he finally gained control of his windpipe.

"You were out pretty late. Or should I say early? Honestly, when will you introduce me to whoever you're sneaking around with? I'm the sister, I deserve to know if she's up to par or not."

Alec gulped. He was at such a loss for words that he mindlessly took another bite of potatoes, just so he wouldn't have to reply right away. He immediately regretted it, his eyes watering at the taste.

"I'm not sneaking around with anyone," he said cautiously. But he could see that she saw right through to his apparent alarm.

"Oh sure. You just leave in the dead of night to go strolling though Central Park to play with the pigeons. I'm not stupid Alec. Who is she?" she demanded.

"There is no 'she'," he said. Completely true.

"Uh huh," was her answer. She didn't look at all convinced.

"Seriously, Iz. Why do you think I'm sneaking around with some girl?"

"Because you're out late all the time and you come home in the early mornings, and when you think I'm asleep, I hear you texting away and giggling like a schoolgirl. There's only one explanation for mindless behavior like that. And she must be a beauty, for you to be shirking your workouts so much lately. I've seen you sparring, Alec. You're lagging. So you better be making it up with the making out." Before he could register that his face was the color of a maraschino, she had whisked his plate from under his fork and thrown it in the sink with a clang.

She paused at the door with one final statement. "I'll find out, Alec. Never underestimate the power of the only sister. I've got to look out for you, you know." And with that, she was gone. He shuddered, and this time it wasn't the food.

He had completely lost his nerve for the whole thing. He just couldn't see Magnus tonight. What if she followed him? Dear _Angel_.

He texted Magnus, apologizing for having to miss him tonight. He suggested doing something tomorrow, though they both knew what he meant. They could never go out to a movie or for coffee, or a simple stroll through the city. No, Alec kept them locked up tight in the prison he reserved for happiness he was forbidden to have.

**Okay, I know there was, like, hardly any plot here, but I wanted to show where Magnus and Alec are in their relationship. In terms of growth between the two of them, they've gone pretty far. They know they love each other and all that. But Alec is still scared shitless of his family finding out (with good reason, apparently. Go Isabelle!). **

**On another note, I wanted to provide a little insight into the previous chapter. I've gotten a lot of reviews that are kind of like: WTF? Lol so I want to clarify: One can't be a vampire unless they ingest vampire blood and are buried and dig their way out of a grave. One cannot be a werewolf unless they are bitten and then change on a full moon. One cannot be a fae or warlock unless they are born of the proper parentage for that (angel/demon for fae, demon/human for warlock). Just keep that in mind. Through a little deductive reasoning, you can figure out that the rabbit couldn't have actually been a "vampire" now, could it? I'll let you sit on that thought for a while. You will find out soon, grasshopper. **

**READINGisLIFE: you have my permission to kick his evil arse, just wait till I'm done with him first lolz**

**Bookworm24601: sorry if I confused you. And yes, it is evil. Sadistic, even. Make sure you read the notes I put above, also, just to clarify some things about Jonathan's doings in the last chap.**

**DisturbingEmily: Thanks so much for loving me enough to stick with me! Yes, Jonathan is a very bad boy lol. He gets worse, too.**

**Beybladeingninjaprincess: in reality, the rabbit is still defenseless. As I said above, it's not really a vampire, because it hasn't gone through the necessary steps. This has an adverse affect on it, the poor thing. Just wait till you see what Jonathan does with his spell later.**

**Nijigoneko: Thanks! I'm glad you're liking it so far. Jonathan is pretty messed up in the head. He's mad about his daddy and he wants revenge, damnit. And he just really likes to see other people suffer. **

**StoryKitten: Ha! I hoped you didn't stop. But I didn't figure you'd be constantly checking FFn for updates from me (I'm not that awesome lol). But really, I'm glad you're still here, and liking it so far. Even with the evilness.**

**Fly Away Dreams: I want purple hair, too! Mine's blue sometimes… Anyways, hope you liked yet another angsty inner monologue chapter.**

**ScaRlett1122: Thanks for catching up with me! Glad you're liking it so far. I hope I don't disappoint.**

**The PerfectAspiration: Wow. I love it when a chapter brings forth profanity. It means my writing was really good teehehe.**

**Lunareclipse3: yes, very cruel lol. About Jonathan's blood: he is a Shadowhunter by birth, which means he has both human blood and a little angel blood in him. Valentine also got demon blood in him, to make him a more powerful Shadowhunter, but it ultimately destroyed his good side. He's just all effed up in the head now.**

**HikariMelody: yea, he's headed kind of in that direction, but not exactly. *suspenseful smile***


	6. A Hole in the Wall

**Hello errbody! I'm back again. I just posted the last chap like 6 hours ago, and here I am already writing the next one. Although, I probably won't finish this until later tonight. Then I'll be sure to post. Sorry about any typos in the last chapter that I might have missed. It was late and it was one of those times when the chapter threatened to mutiny in my head if it didn't get written, and I happen to like my head, so I did it in a hurry. **

**Cassie Clare owns the two best boys in the whole wide world. And basically everyone else in this story, too. **

**Chapter Song: Gravity by John Mayer (this one's from Alec's POV. Especially the part where he says "I'll never know what makes this man/With all the love that his heart can stand/Dream of ways to throw it all away". Yea. I guess that's our Alec in a nutshell, at least at this point)**

**Isabelle POV**

"Maryse, please! The Conclave can't let this go! What about the Accords? And the fact that they now have seats on the council, even?" the blonde Shadowhunter protested, her green eyes glittering with intensity.

Maryse's hand came down hard on the table, startling no one but the blonde, because everyone else seated around the table was quite used to the firmness with which she could command herself. Her children especially, who had both been allowed to sit in on this meeting. Alec thought it a given, since he was 18 and he was perfectly haughty about it. But Isabelle was soaking it up. She wasn't yet considered an adult, but she had been given the chance to watch Shadowhunter politics in action. She listened intently.

"That's enough!" her mother shouted, trying in her own way to get the girl to calm down. She was crying and nearing hysterics now. Isabelle thought it a little petty, to be putting herself in such a fuss over a Downworlder, but then again, the missing werewolf was her brother.

She found the courage to face the table again. "Please. That's two already," she said quietly, now trying to impart the sympathy of the rest of those gathered around the table: Maryse, Robert, two Shadowhunter men from just north of the city, a vampire named Corinne (who had come in place of Raphael), Isabelle, Alec, Luke Graymark, and Magnus Bane.

"She's right," Corinne piped up. "One of our coven disappeared about a week ago, less than three days after Sarah says her brother was taken."

"We are not sure that he was _taken_," Maryse said.

"He was! He would never leave our mother, even if she could barely stand the sight of him. It was an accident, him being bitten, but she disowned him anyway. He's out there, somewhere, alone," she sobbed quietly, stealing a glance at Luke, most likely hoping to strike a cord with him. Isabelle saw his eyes go gentle, and she knew that he wished he had more say in this group. When would everyone get it through their heads that he should?

The argument went on as Isabelle gazed around the table. It had gone on for two hours already. Two Downworlders disappeared without a trace. No notes, no warnings, just gone. But the only reason this was being discussed at a Shadowhunter table was because the werewolf was related to one.

She let her mind drift. She thought about her date with Simon last night, and how it felt to have his cold, strong body press her up against the wall of the Institute hallway. They'd almost been caught, and she surely would have gotten a lecture about running around with vampire boys in the middle of the night and making out in the openness of the Institute with reckless abandon. But they hadn't been caught, and they wouldn't be ever if they could keep the secret meetings going. Her mother was ok with Simon as a person, but the fact that her daughter was dating a Downworlder set her teeth on edge.

Isabelle envied Alec, because he was apparently better at his sneaking around with whatever chick he'd snagged with his unruly mop of hair and 10 years old sweater. Maryse was always keeping steady watch over Isabelle, but Alec came and went day and night as he pleased. Izzy knew he was seeing someone, and she'd made it her priority to find out who. Call it her girlish, gossipy instinct.

She chose this moment to scrutinize her brother, to try to find some hidden clue. But he was alternating between staring off into space and having his eyes dart in her own direction now and again. This unnerved her a little. She thought about making a face, sticking her tongue out, saying something like "take a picture, it'll last longer". But she was at an adult table discussion, and she'd be kicked out and not allowed back in, so she held her tongue.

Her eyes picked up his pale blue ones every so often, but he never looked right at her. His eyes would dart around the table, taking in all of the gathered officials. Then he would stare off into space again. She was a bit puzzled.

Once, when he was staring in the same direction he always reverted back to, she saw him smile. She caught the very miniscule curve of his lips, not having seen Alec smile much lately, or ever. She wondered what on earth about this conversation was amusing.

But then again, his eyes didn't look amused. They looked intense. She followed his gaze across the table. Well, he was either smiling at one of Shadowhunters from up north, or Magnus Bane. Not likely. He despised the warlock. He usually couldn't be coaxed to come within ten feet of him, and she'd only ever seen him speak a couple tense words to him at a time, none of them particularly nice.

But he was smiling now. And she was gazing at him longingly, wishing he looked that happy more often. She wasn't sure what it was about the conversation that had his expression placed that way. Then her jaw dropped as she saw his lips move. She kept looking at him, dazed. When her gaze drifted towards the object of his stare, she saw the same small smile and the same three words come out of that person's mouth.

**Magnus POV**

He kept trying to keep his mind on the conversation, but the curve of Alec's neck where it met his shoulder was calling to him. He was imagining all the ways he could lick, bite, and suck on it, rather than listening to the conversation. And he probably would benefit, since it was based on the arbitrary disappearance of Downworlders. But Alec's soft, scarred skin called to him.  
Just then, Alec looked his way again. He'd been doing it all night, but only fleetingly, then he would look around the table to make sure no one else saw. It was a tiresome game, but Magnus took what he could get. He was lucky the boy was looking at him at all.

Alec stared into his eyes and smiled ever so slightly. Magnus was surprised. He _never_ so much as bat an eye or looked at the warlock for a second too long when they were in the company of others, especially his family. But there it was, sweet and subtle.

The next thing was subtle, too, but it made him nearly fall out of his chair, or possibly jump up and down like a lunatic.

Alec's sweet, soft lips were talking to him, mouthing words. It was unmistakable. "I love you," he had said, just before darting his eyes away again. Magnus could barely contain himself until he looked back and the warlock answered with the same.

And then, just like that, the sweet moment was over. He saw Alec's face go ghostly white, and he looked in the direction he was staring. His sister, quiet and unassuming until now, was glancing back and forth between the two of them.

Great. Here we go. Magnus thought about it, and he couldn't come up with a way that Alec could cover this up. There wasn't anything he could say or do that would dissuade Isabelle Lightwood from getting to the bottom of those three words exchanged between them. He could tell by the look on her face.

**Alec POV**

Oh, it was a stupid move. Brought on by a longing so strong he could hardly sit still in his chair without rushing over onto the warlock's lap. He hadn't heard a word anyone said. He was too busy having his eyes held riveted to Magnus' right hand. Adorned with multiple rings, the most graceful appendage on him (at least, the best one that was visible in their current circumstances) steadily drummed the table with its dark purple polished nails. He didn't know boredom, lack of interest, and annoyance could be rolled up into such an alluring gesture. Magnus probably didn't even know he was doing it, much less what it was doing to Alec.

On top of just looking graceful, Alec started to let thoughts creep in about what that hand and its twin could do, and _had_ done, to his body. Those purple polished nails shouldn't be drumming incessantly on his mother's oak dining table. They should be thrust into his hair, or maybe caressing his backside, or possibly grasping in other places. Angel, the things Magnus could do with his hands. Alec fought to hold back a sigh of pleasure at just the thought.

He felt emboldened by his train of thought; call it the rush of sexual energy. He looked over at Magnus, caught his eye, and mouthed "I love you", and immediately looked down at the table. When he looked back up, the warlock answered him with the same. It made a rush of warmth bubble up in his chest. But then, with just a flick of his eyes in the opposite direction, all that warmth gave way to bitter cold.

He was sure he looked sick. He felt sick. His sister was sitting there across the table, mouth agape, staring back and forth between the two of them. He might as well have jumped up on the table and shouted to the whole room that he and Magnus were together. He felt like he was going to vomit from anxiety. Isabelle knew. There was no way to talk his way out of this one; he tried it in his head and came up despairingly short.

It was over. Their little Magnus and Alec world was open to the public now. Isabelle had a mouth on her that would run and tell till the cows came home. _Shit_, he thought.

He held it together, somehow, for another half hour while the conversation came to a close. Magnus kept looking at him, most likely wondering if he was going to collapse from lack of oxygen to his brain at any moment. He wished the warlock wouldn't focus so intently on him when they were in front of his family and others. But Isabelle knew. It was as good as written on a banner in Times Square.

As the others departed, on somewhat bad terms he took it, he dashed out of the room at the first opportune moment. As he imagined, Magnus was mad at his freak out and didn't follow him. But Isabelle did.

"Alec! Alec wait! I want to talk to you!" she was walking up behind him down the hallway. He thought about breaking into a run, and he might make it to his room in time to lock her out. But he knew he'd have to face it sooner or later. So he stopped and turned very slowly, so as not to empty the contents of his stomach onto the tile floor.

"Alec. Talk to me. What was that about?" She didn't sound…_interested_…in a 'run and tell mom' kind of way. Just concerned. Probably because he looked like he was going to pass out.

"Nothing. It was…nothing," he said. Even though Magnus wasn't around to hear it put that way, he still felt the guilt rise up in his chest. Or maybe that was his dinner.

"I know what I saw, Alec." She didn't sound mad. "How long?"

"What?" he asked through the haze.

**Isabelle POV**

"How long have you two been seeing each other?" She waited for an answer, but one didn't seem forthcoming. She couldn't believe it. She knew Magnus had a soft spot for Alec, otherwise they wouldn't get all his services, portals, etc. for so damn cheap. She wasn't stupid, she knew the warlock liked her brother. But she had been certain that Alec felt the complete opposite for him.

She always noticed her brother standing as far as he could from him, never offering a kind word to him, a thanks, or anything of the sort when Magnus helped them out. It was dawning on her now why that was: he was trying desperately to cover it up. And she guessed he fooled her.

"Alec, come on. You can't hide forever. I know you avoid him on purpose when we're around." She thought about all the times they had been thrust together during their trials with Valentine. When Alec looked sick when Magnus gave him a glance or a wink. When he would jump up whenever Jace would call, and he would hang on every word. When Magnus was so bitchy when Jace was around. By the Angel, so many things fell into place at once, they made her head spin. She'd thought she'd possessed good woman's intuition, and here she was being proven brutally wrong.

Just then, he mumbled something, looking utterly defeated.

"What was that?" she asked quietly.

"The party. When we met him the first time, with Clary," he said in a voice so low she barely heard.

"What about it?"

"That's how long we've been seeing each other," he said, speaking very slowly so that she caught all of it.

_What?_ They'd been seeing each other for _months_, and no one knew about it? "Impossible," she said with finality.

"What's impossible? That I can keep a secret? It's easy when my life depends on it," he said bitterly. Shit, he was right.

"I can keep a secret, too, you know. You could have told me. I'm your sister, I'm supposed to be here for you." She was a touch sad by the fact that apparently he didn't trust her not to go blabbing about it.

"It's not that I didn't think you could keep the secret, which I know you can't. I just didn't want you or Mom or Dad to be…" he trailed off, like the sentence hurt him. She waited. "…ashamed. Of me."

She immediately went on the defensive. "Why on earth would I be ashamed of you, Alec?"

"Oh I don't know," he said sarcastically. "Maybe because I…because I…I'm…"

"Gay?" she finished, and he immediately went white in the face again. She was getting concerned for his health.

"Yea," he managed in a strangled voice.

"Alec, I love you. I always will, no matter what. You've got to know that. I would never be ashamed of you for any reason, especially not because of who you choose to sleep with," she said. His eyes went wide at the last part, and she mentally amended it. It was blatantly obvious from his reaction that he'd never _slept_ with anyone. To tell the truth, she was a little surprised that Magnus hadn't moved in for the kill yet, since they'd been dating _all this time_. But that was for them to decide. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Forget it Isabelle," he said, using her full name and visibly shutting his emotions down. She knew this Alec Lightwood. The one who didn't let a damn soul in. She'd lost him for the night. He'd go in his room, sulk, and maybe come out tomorrow, acting like nothing had happened but forbidding her to speak of it again. She watched as he turned away, shoulders slumped, headed for his room, and she let him go.

**Aww. Poor Magnus, poor Alec, poor Izzy. Geez, angst all around. Next chapter will have a little bit of goodness sprinkled in, though. And I'm going to work on it later tonight, so expect another update soon. I do this when I'm on a new fic: I update like 5 million times a day because it's swimming around in my head and I just can't quit.**

**READINGisLIFE: as you can see, Izzy did figure it out, and no Alec obviously doesn't trust them, though he wants to. He's just a little hopeless right now.**

**Bookworm24601: girlpower prevailed! And it's okay if you check like every two seconds. I do that too lol. **

**DisturbingEmily: She did find out, and attempted to tell him, but alas, he won't be reasoned with. And look out for bad bad Jonathan soon lol.**

**Nijigoneko: thanks for liking my little insights into their minds. And you will probably continue to feel sorry for them all, including Izzy, after this chap. **

**The PerfectAspiration: Thanks! Here you go!**


	7. To Wish Impossible Things

**Okay, so I told myself I wouldn't update until I'd gotten at least 10 reviews on the last chapter, but I want to get it out so badly. This chap is particularly sad, but don't hate me so much that you don't read on. And the next chap is coming up RIGHT after this one, because that's kind of how the timeline is going. You'll see what I mean later. Hehe.**

**They are all Miss Clare's. As much as I hate to say it, they will always belong to her. *tear***

**Chapter Song: To Wish Impossible Things by The Cure (wow. Could there BE a better song for the sadness in this chapter?)**

**Alec POV**

He felt like a big steaming pile of shit. Literally. He'd managed to alienate both his sister and his beloved in a matter of seconds. On top of that, now his secret was out. He knew Isabelle couldn't be _that_ okay with it. He knew she was just saying that for his sake. She was probably in her room right now thinking about what a disgusting bastard he was. He wished he could go back and change everything that had happened.

But then that thought brought a whole new, different wave of guilt. Because what had started it was that he told Magnus he loved him. Did that mean he wanted to take _that_ back? Surely not. He _did_ love Magnus. He just wished no one else knew that. But then that sounded even more horrible when he really thought about it. The whole thing was just so fucking unfair.

He felt really, really bad for blowing off Izzy like that. He could see, at least, that she was concerned for him in his current state. But he chose to shut down like he always did when emotions got in the way. That was another thing about this new relationship: it brought out his emotional side, something no one else had ever been able to do. Not even his first love.

He cringed when he thought that. He knew now, honestly, that what he'd felt for Jace for all those years was simply infatuation. Okay, maybe there wasn't anything _simple_ about it, but still. Now that he'd experienced things with Magnus, someone who loved him back so much, he knew what he felt for Jace in no way rivaled what he felt for the warlock. Not even close.

On top of his guilt for dismissing Isabelle, he was being crushed under the weight of what Magnus must be feeling right now. Alec had said he loved him in front of a room full of people, and then freaked out about it. The cause of the freakout kind of made it that much worse. If it had been a wink from Magnus, or Alec catching himself staring just a little too long, well that was one thing. But what he'd done basically made it look like he regretted saying it. It wasn't that. It was just that Isabelle saw.

But he could never explain this to Magnus. He wouldn't understand. Alec knew the way the warlock ticked, after so long together (and their fair share of lover's quarrels). He would be sitting on his bed scowling right now. Thinking about what an idiot he was for staying with Alec all this time, even if Alec denounced him again and again in public.

All of a sudden, Alec couldn't bear it. He couldn't stomach the fact that Magnus was at home, alone, not speaking to anyone (obviously not talking to _him_, considering how many unanswered texts Alec had sent) and crying those angry tears. Magnus always cried when he was furious. Either that, or he would just never admit when he was actually sad. Magnus usually hid sadness behind viciousness anyway.

Alec rose off his bed, shrugged on his leather coat, pocketed his stele and his keys. Then he was out his door and sneaking, yet again, out of the Institute in the middle of the night to meet his warlock.

**Magnus POV**

He was such an idiot. Why did he even bother? Alec just kept pushing him away. Why was he still here, fawning after the Shadowhunter like a pathetic, whipped little bitch boy? Honestly, he was too old for this shit. He was done.

No. He wasn't. And he knew it. Like it or not, Alec had said those words in front of a crowd of others (even if they weren't paying attention). That was the biggest step he'd ever taken in the relationship.

But then it all went to hell. The worst part of the whole thing wasn't that he'd flipped out because of Isabelle; it was because he looked like he desperately wished to take the words back. That hurt like hell, to see that look in his eyes, like he'd just signed his death sentence by telling Magnus how he felt.

Fed up, Magnus threw himself back down on his pillow and let his mascara stain his bright yellow sheets. He'd cried so much over this boy. He was so pathetic. And he was _so_ done. He cried himself into exhaustion, slipping off into a fitful sleep.

An insistent knock at the door woke him. He looked over at the clock, groaning at the ridiculous hour. Damn his job and its 24/7 open door policy. He sighed and pushed himself up, still in his clothes, his makeup smeared to hell. He felt so shitty still, he honestly didn't care.

He didn't even bother with the intercom. He opened the door and went down the stairs to the front door, opening it with less force that he wanted. He was just too damn tired to put up the annoyed pretense.

But nothing could have prepared him for coming face to face with the most stunning pair of blue eyes he'd ever had occasion to gaze upon. Jesus, the flood of emotions those eyes could create. He fought to keep them in check.

"You answered," Alec said stupidly.

"Of course I did. Open 24 hours a day and all. What are you doing here?" Good. He affected a satisfactory nonchalant tone. He remembered his disheveled appearance with a wince, though. Whatever. It was too late to care.

**Alec POV**

"I wanted to…to…" what, Alec? Apologize? How many times could you do that in a relationship? But he didn't have anything else. "I'm sorry, Magnus," he said lamely.

"Where have I heard that before?" the warlock answered in an unaffected voice. He almost pulled it off, not caring, if he hadn't looked the way he did. Alec wanted to take him into his arms so badly. He looked like he'd been sleeping in his clothes, his makeup was smeared down his face (had he been crying?), and his usually immaculate hair was hanging limp around his face, a shadow of the neat, spikey style it had been in earlier. The worst of it all, though, was that he looked so damned sad. He'd never seen Magnus look so utterly disappointed in his life. And it was because of him.

"I just panicked, okay? You knew this. You knew no one could find out," Alec began. Of course Magnus knew that. If the Clave found out, he'd be stripped of his Marks and thrown out. It was basically his life. He could lose his life because of who he loved.

"It's not that, Alexander, and you know it." He looked like he didn't even want to be within ten feet of Alec, when all Alec wanted to do was run into his arms and kiss him and tell him he would make up for it. That he loved him and couldn't bear to think of being with anyone else. But he held off.

"Then what?" But he knew very well what.

"Because…because when you said…" Alec was shocked. This was bad. Magnus Bane was _never_ at a loss for words. Sometimes Alec couldn't get him to shut up, except when his mouth was engaged elsewhere, perhaps. But then a flood of images came into Alec's mind's eye, and he fought to put them away.

"Magnus, I—" the warlock cut him off in a low, sharp voice.

"You looked like you wanted to take it back," he said through gritted teeth. "Do you? Is that it? You only want to love me in secret? Or not at all?"

"No, that's not—"

"I deserve better than that, Alexander._ I'm _better than that."

"I know, Magnus. It's not fair to me either, but that's the way it is. And now that Isabelle knows about me—" he was cut off yet again.

"You see? That's what it comes down to. _Me_," Magnus spit sarcastically. "There is no _us_. Only you. Everything is about how it affects you. I thought I was part of this relationship, too. Or what's left of it, anyway." He looked away, up the street.

"What do you mean?" Alec asked slowly, his body going cold. He had a hunch what he meant, but he tried to push it away. Not possible, he thought.

"You know perfectly well what I mean," Magnus said. He still refused to look at Alec. Refused to meet his eyes.

"Please, please don't do that, Magnus," Alec said through the pain that had suddenly hit in his chest. Drops of desperation leaked from his pale blue eyes.

When Magnus turned his face back to him, his glowing yellow-green cat's eyes were leaking their own tears. These were definitely not anger. They looked like utter defeat. He'd never seen anyone so heartbroken in his life. So why was he still doing this?

"Just go Alec," he said, choking back a sob. "Leave."

He'd never felt such pain as he did when that last word was spoken. His heart wrenched at the sound of it. Alec couldn't think of anything to say. He wanted to beg him to please not do this. Don't end it now. He couldn't live without him. But Alec didn't deserve him, and he knew it. Magnus deserved better, he said so himself. And it was true. All Alec could do was stand there, letting the tears roll down his face, his heart in danger of never beating again.

He tried one last time. "Please," he choked out, but it only came out a whisper, there was no way Magnus could have heard it. He looked at the warlock, who gave the slightest shake of his head. And that was it. Alec turned around and began making his way back down the street in misery. All of a sudden, he couldn't think of a reason to live anymore. Magnus was the thing he loved most in the world, and without him, there was nothing.

**Wow. I'm sorry to do this to you, folks. But I promise that you will like me better in the next chapter! I will make up for all this! I sincerely hope you don't hate me…that would make me sadpanda. **

**Thank you to the eight of you that reviewed! But since I don't want to wait another minute to get started on the next chap, I'm gonna wait to reply in that one. Love you all! Stick with me, please! And REVIEW! I want to know how much you want to disown me right now lol. Cuz I gots a goodie up mah sleeve hehehe.**


	8. Stay

**Okay okay! Put down the torches and pitchforks! I promise you will like me better after this one. **

**I just want to say, though, that just remember this is in no way related to my other stories. The rules that apply in my other stories don't all apply here. That's just for future reference lol. Just letting you guys know, cuz, you know I love ya.**

**Chapter Song: Stay by Elisa (perfect for both of them. Simply incredibly perfect.)**

**Magnus POV**

Had he really just done that? Had he really just lost the one thing he truly loved more than life (and that means a lot, coming from someone who has an endless one)? All of a sudden he couldn't breathe.

God those eyes. Alec had _never_ cried, at least not in front of him. He didn't think Shadowhunters cried. Their lives equaled pain. Had he really done that? Made a demon-hunter cry real tears from those piteous blue eyes?

"Wait," he croaked in a strangled whisper. There was no way Alec heard him. But he was turning around, bringing that heartbreakingly wet gaze back on the warlock. He'd made it all of three steps.

They stared into each other's eyes for a moment. Magnus was sure his face looked like he was being burned from the inside out. More like frozen. His entire body was a frozen well of despair.

Then, Alec was right in front of him, looking deep in his eyes, and then their lips were together. Magnus could taste the salt of their mixed tears as their lips moved, crushing against one another. The tears continued to fall.

Alec had his hands on either side of Magnus' face, locked like a vice, like he was afraid the warlock would pull away. There was no way in hell Magnus had the strength to let go of his grip on Alec right now. He'd never felt more alive than when that lean, muscled body was pressed against him. It was life incarnate to hold Alec. His hands dug into the Shadowhunter's hips, pulling them impossibly closer, right there on the steps.

Then, Alec started pushing him back up the steps to the door. He didn't remember how they got the front door closed, or how they go up the stairs to his apartment. They were all a tangle of arms and feet and lips and moans. When they made it to the living room, they didn't stop for a moment. Alec was still guiding them, back toward the bedroom. His tongue had slid into the warlock's mouth, filling it completely with the sweet mint taste that was so Alec.

Magnus kicked the bedroom door closed behind them, and they stood in the middle of the room, still feverishly tasting and pulling at each other. Alec's hands had moved down to his shoulders and were working his coat off. Magnus let go his hold on Alec's hips long enough for the coat to fall to the floor. Then Alec's fingers were pulling at the buttons on his shirt. He got about 4 of them undone before Magnus pulled away just enough to speak.

"Alec, wait—"

"Please, Magnus," was the strangled answer, the blue orbs searing into his own. Then Alec attacked his mouth again, and he was propelled into another fit of heated kisses. He worked his hands underneath the hem of Alec's sweater and pulled it up over his head, throwing it to the side. Alec had gotten his shirt off, too.

His hands were thrust into Alec's mop of black hair, pulling perhaps a little too hard in his need, because Alec's hands left the sides of his torso and reached up to grab them, pulling them out of his hair.

But then, he started running Magnus' hands down his own body, faintly tracing the permanent Marks on his chest, down his stomach, placing them on the button of his jeans.

Magnus looked at him again, and saw that stray tears still streaked his cheeks. But the look in his eyes was so unlike anything Magnus had ever seen before. It was pure love and need and desire rolled into one. Alec's hands went to the same spot on Magnus and made quick work of the button and zipper on his red leather pants, which were so tight they didn't sink down just yet.

"Alec," he began.

"I love you, Magnus. And right now I really don't care who knows it. Just love me. _Please_," he pleaded. He looked like he was going to faint if Magnus didn't give him what he wanted. Silently, Magnus undid his jeans and they fell to the floor, followed by his boxers. Alec worked his thumbs into Magnus' tight pants, which left no room for underwear of any sort, and peeled them off. They both kicked their shoes off.

As they kissed hungrily, Magnus could still taste tears. Whether they were his own or Alec's, he didn't know anymore. Alec pulled him down on the bed on top of him. They somehow maneuvered themselves underneath the plush comforter.

One last time, Magnus stopped the progress of events. "Are you sure?" he asked in a low voice.

"More than sure, Magnus. Please," he said again. With a trembling hand, he reached up and ran his fingers down across Magnus' cheek tenderly, caressing his puffy lower lip. Magnus' tongue darted out around his middle finger, pulling it into his mouth and sucking gently. Alec's eyes slipped shut and he let out a soft moan.

Magnus reached up and took the hand from his mouth and placed it above Alec's head on the pillow, doing the same with his other hand as well. He took the moment to gaze at the gorgeous Shadowhunter below him. He bent down slowly.

"So beautiful," he whispered in Alec's ear, and Alec sighed in pleasure at the burst of hot breath on his cheek. Magnus worked his way down his face to his chest, leaving a trail of sweet kisses in his wake. Then he got to his chest, and his tongue slipped out just enough to trace the permanent Marks across the smooth skin. He could feel the hard muscle beneath it. He felt Alec's heartbeat start to race. He knew the Shadowhunter was nervous, but he seemed ready. He'd pleaded the whole way in here, both verbally and physically.

When Magnus looked back up, Alec's eyes were closed, savoring the warlock's movements still. Magnus took the moment to place his two middle fingers into his mouth. Alec opened willingly, sucking them in and swirling his tongue around them like he did when he was giving Magnus head. Magnus groaned at the sensation, and his cock hardened even more. Alec's eyes were still closed.

Magnus took his fingers back, now dripping with saliva, and he worked them under the covers to between Alec's thighs. He kept his eyes trained on Alec's face for any signs of regret about going through with this. When he saw none, he gently pushed one finger inside.

Alec's brows knit together slightly, but he kept his eyes closed and his breathing steady. After a few more seconds, Magnus inserted the other finger. This time, Alec let out a small hiss. Magnus leaned down to kiss him, continuing to push his fingers in and out slowly.

When he thought Alec was ready, he took them away, and Alec whimpered again at the loss. Magnus snapped a bottle of lube into his hands, squeezing some out and snapping again to make it disappear. He coated his straining erection with the liquid and looked back up at Alec, whose eyes were trained on his.

They held each other's gaze as Magnus positioned himself. To his surprise, Alec wrapped both his legs around his hips. He slowly pushed inside as Alec let out a whimper that was louder than any he'd made so far. Magnus felt bad for hurting him as he watched another tear squeeze out from the corner of his eye. But it was Alec who kept it going, his heels digging into Magnus' ass, pushing him in further until he was completely buried inside his beloved.

They both moaned in unison, and Magnus stayed deep inside for a moment, letting Alec catch his breath. When Alec's eyes conveyed that it was okay to continue, Magnus drew out and then pushed back in again. When his thighs hit the back of Alec's, they both moaned again.

Magnus began to go faster, but still holding back for Alec's sake. He didn't want to over exert him on his first time. But it seemed Alec was bent on it being an epic night, pulling him in with more force every time. He arched his back up off the bed, and that gave Magnus the opportunity to change the angle of his thrusts.

When Magnus' cock hit a different spot, Alec cried out in pleasure. Magnus continued to pick up his pace until they were both drenched in sweat. Occasionally, their lips would meet again, but it wasn't really kissing so much as simply wanting more of their bodies to be in contact. Alec's hands were fisted in Magnus' hair, tugging every time Magnus hit home inside him. Magnus' hands were positioned on either side of Alec's head on the pillow, barely holding his weight.

He was growing weaker by the second, but he kept up his pace. He tried for a moment to hold himself up with one hand, grasping Alec's own erection in the other, but he nearly collapsed on his one shakey arm.

"No, don't," Alec said in between ragged breaths. "Just come here."

He pulled Magnus down by his hair. The warlock's lips rested on the top of his shoulder, tasting the salty sweat beaded there. The angle of his body put Alec's cock between them, and he was sure the friction from that was what Alec wanted, because he started getting louder.

Magnus didn't know if he was going to make it. He was so tired from the exertion, and his body was so enthralled in the love he felt for the boy below him. He gritted his teeth and reveled in the feel of the wet warmth he was thrusting in and out of. He worked his hands underneath Alec's arms and around the back of his shoulders, pulling them together with each thrust. Alec's arms were like a vice around his upper back. They could melt into each other at any second.

His mouth was still on Alec's shoulder, and he didn't notice when he stopped kissing it and started biting. But he bit down hard, trying to push himself through the last of strokes. He was nearing the end, now. Alec's moans and sighs were so loud, he knew he was getting close too. He started falling out of rhythm, feeling the tightness in his abdomen.

And all of a sudden, euphoria overtook him and he emptied with alarming force into Alec, drawing Alec's own orgasm because he felt hot liquid shoot onto their stomachs.

When he was finished, he collapsed on top of Alec, not able to hold himself up one second longer. He nearly slipped off to sleep still inside him. Alec ran his fingers through his hair as best he could, with the gel from earlier still in it. He'd forgotten what a wreck he looked like. He could care less right now.

"I love you," Alec whispered in his ear.

"I love you, too. More than life," his mouth mumbled from its place pressed to Alec's neck. Somehow he found the strength to roll over, off of Alec, withdrawing himself. He'd never been so sated in his very long life. He wished this moment would never end.

Alec leaned up with a wince, no doubt at the soreness he was already feeling (Magnus really hadn't meant to be that hard on him the first time, but then again, Alec had driven it to escalate). He placed a silent kiss on the warlock's pliant mouth, turning over to lie on his stomach, laying his cheek on the pillow so he was facing Magnus. Magnus lay on his back next to him, and used his last bit of strength before sleep to lift his arm up and place his hand on Alec's face, while Alec moved his hand to rest over the warlock's heart.

**Jonathan POV**

He'd watched the disgusting display from around a nearby corner, in the shadows left by the streetlights, until they'd kissed and fumbled their way in and shut the door. It was completely by accident that he'd happened upon the couple. He had heard that one of the straight-laced Lightwoods' children was seeing a Downworlder. He'd just assumed it was their slutty daughter. How ridiculously fortuitous that it was their shy, softspoken pussy of a son.

And to find out he was a homo on top of that. Oh, this would be delicious. Even if he wasn't in the least bit capable of understanding it, he knew love when he saw it. His father had loved his whore of mother; he'd seen and heard enough to detect the gestures of the eyes and other such nonsense. What better way to teach Shadowhunters that stooped so low a lesson? This pair would be his favorite experiment. The mother and vampire daughter were good, and maybe even the werewolf brother, but this? He'd enjoy it immensely, using the most wretched and useless of emotions against this piece of Downworld scum and his precious Shadowhunter.

On top of the sickness of what he witnessed, he smiled at the prospect. He just had to wait until his target was alone, then he'd move on in.

**AHH! So much goodness in this chapter, then I end it with that shit. Don't you just hate me? You didn't think this could ALL be good in this chapter did you? If you did, well I guess you were sorely mistaken lol.**

**Again, thank you for reviewing, but I'm going to hold off on the replies. I'm working on the next chapter now, but it'll be a while before it's posted. Like, probably sometime tomorrow afternoon. I promise I'll reply to all of you then.**

**For now, please REVIEW and tell me what you thought. Please? With sugary, lemony Malec on top?**


	9. Two Unexpected Visits

**Hi folks! Hope everyone (who celebrates it, anyway) had a happy Thanksgiving! I personally spent mine alone in my apartment at school, but no worries. I've been a busy little bee. Dare I say? I've written a couple of chapters! But I'm not going to post the next one till I get at least 10 reviews on this one. So there.**

**Okay, so. I just COULDN'T resist carving out a little space for one of my favorite OC's ever. He's from Everything Is Governed, but if you haven't read that its okay cuz the history isn't the same anyway. They are still friends for a long while, but nothing with Camille and whatnot happened in the past. Does that make any sense? They are just "also" friends in this alternate universe lolz.**

**Cassie owns them, except for the tiger boy.**

**Chapter Song: the video that's on the tellie: http:/ /www. youtube. com/ watch?v=zlLkscjDWsA**

**Magnus POV**

He maneuvered out from under Alec's arm as best he could, succeeding in not waking the boy. He took a moment to gaze at him, lying on his stomach, the comforter barely covering his lower half, coming to just below the small of his back. His arm that hadn't been slung over Magnus was supporting his head under the pillow, while the one that had was still in its spot, as if Magnus hadn't moved. He looked like a child, except for the fact that the sheets hid a very _adult_ appendage; one that Magnus had come to worship lately, along with other parts of him.

Last night had been a little overwhelming, nearly indescribable. Some part of him knew it was unwise for Alec to take that all-important step in such a state of emotional uproar, but he didn't see any signs yet of his regretting it in the least. That was a good thing. The best part of the night, though: waking up to that gorgeous twink in the bed next to him. Delicious.

The warlock shuffled to the bathroom to begin his morning routine. Once his hair was washed and spiked, his makeup applied, he made his way to the kitchen to feed his poor undernourished feline.

He jumped in surprise when he took in the figure sitting on his furry pink couch, his face then softening into friendly recognition. He'd forgotten Billy said he would visit this week.

"Bit on edge, are we Bane?" the warlock chuckled in his southern accent from his spot on the couch. He looked very out of place against the hot pink background, with his jeans and cowboy boots (that he still insisted on wearing, even if he _did_ relocate to Brooklyn), and his bright orange hair and tiger striped arms. The tail was hidden underneath him at the moment.

"I just forgot you were coming over today. You know, you could have knocked," Magnus answered, but he didn't sound annoyed or mad.

"I did. Several times. It seems you sleep like the dead, buddy," he laughed. Magnus knew the reason he'd slept like the dead on _this _particular night. Sexual exhaustion did that to a person. Even an immortal one.

"Oh, sorry," he said, not meaning it at all. "I had a particularly taxing night, and I guess I was more exhausted that I thought. What time is it?"

"Nearly three in the afternoon," Billy answered with a smirk. That didn't bother Magnus in the least, but he cringed at what Alec was going to say when he finally woke up and realized he'd spent the entire night _and_ the following day here with no one knowing where he was. Nothing to do about it now, though.

Billy snapped his fingers and the television flickered to life. It was still set on MTV from the previous day. It happened to be one of Magnus' favorite videos at the moment. But suddenly, Billy switched it off again with a curl of his upper lip.

Magnus snapped it back on. "Hey, I like that one!" he said, staring at the TV. Billy rolled his eyes.

"I don't know how you stand that whiney crap. Must be the progressiveness of New York or something."

"Because it's cool. Just because your music collection only consists of the Man in Black and Dolly Parton doesn't give you the right to judge mine. Plus, he's pretty," Magnus said, gazing at the raccoon eyed singer on the screen, wailing away. He would _never_ admit it to Alec, but Magnus had teeny tiny little crush on Bill Kaulitz. Just a teeny one.

"Hmph," Billy sighed in response, wincing as Bill hit a particularly lofty note.

"I could do that, if I wanted," Magnus said, strolling off to the kitchen and singing along to World Behind My Wall, hitting the high notes at the end with surprising clarity. He supposed, in a past life, he'd been a singer. He could hit some pretty lofty notes as well, if he tried. He'd sung Alec to sleep one night, when he was particularly distressed about their situation. It had been a sweet Jewel tune, and had lulled the Shadowhunter right to sleep during the first verse, before he'd gotten to the part that painfully described their relationship.

He was lost in the memory, not hearing Billy get up off the couch to follow him to the kitchen. He must have stopped when he passed the hallway, because now Magnus heard him speaking again.

"Magnus, you naughty scoundrel!" he stage whispered. "Or did you _know_ there was a baby Nephilim in your bed?" he mused.

Magnus must have left the door to the bedroom open, displaying his gorgeous sleeping boyfriend and the telltale Marks across his upper back.

"He's not a baby. He's 18, perfectly legal," Magnus retorted, trying still to keep quiet so as not to wake the boy. He knew they'd made a little headway last night, but he didn't want to think how much Alec would freak out when he saw that another warlock had seen him naked in Magnus' bed. Magnus quickly and quietly shut the door.

"I see now. You had a _taxing_ night. You're such a two bit hooker, Magnus. How long did you know this one? Two, three drinks?" he chuckled. Well, if this was anyone else in Magnus' bed, he'd have hit the nail on the head, which is why he didn't take offense to the comment.

"Actually, I'll have you know that I've held on to this one for more than a couple of months. And last night was the first time there was anything other than foreplay involved. You should be proud of me," he said nonchalantly, but with a hint of haughty air.

"Really, now?" Billy mused, chuckling. Then he turned serious. "You'd better watch your ass, though. It's not that well-accepted, Downworlders and Nephilim consorting on that kind of level. Well, on any level other than business, I'm pretty sure."

"Oh, please. Take your old fashioned southern claptrap somewhere else. You gonna warn me about being careful who sees us two _boys_ together, too?"

"I'm serious, Magnus. There are a lot of Shadowhunters, and some other Downworlders too, that wouldn't be too pleased at the notion of such a close relationship. Accords be damned."

"We're fine, William. Honestly, you worry way to damn much," Magnus replied, as he poured dry food into Chairman Meow's bowl. The cat dove in ravenously. Poor thing.

"It's not just me, Magnus. I've heard rumors of Downworlders being snatched lately. At first, Alicia and I just kept to ourselves at home. But then, I started hearing more. All the disappearances have one thing in common, and one thing only." He paused for dramatic affect, Magnus assumed.

"I've heard of one or two disappearances. They're probably just tired of the humdrum of their daily lives and ran away to something better. Isn't that what you did?" Magnus said with a forced chuckle. He knew that wasn't true, but he was desperately trying to deflect with humor, because he was starting to get a rising feeling a dread in his gut.

"Magnus. They were all Downworlders that were connected rather…intimately…with a Shadowhunter, one way or another. The werewolf, Michael, was the brother of a Shadowhunter named Sara. The vampire, Felicia, was the daughter of Julia Mayweather, also Nephilim. And then there's the Fae who was best friends with a Shadowhunter boy named Peter. If they could have, they would have been _parabatai_, that's how close they were. Do you see a pattern here, Magnus?" he said with a little desperation in his eyes.

"Yes, I do. But seriously, trust me. You have nothing to worry about concerning me and Alec. He's been so hell bent on keeping our relationship a secret. The only one who knows is his sister, and somehow I honestly doubt she'd spread the news. She wouldn't want her brother to face the consequences that the Clave would set upon him. We've never even shared so much as a glance in public." But then he stopped himself. That wasn't true. They'd fought like an old married couple, then made out and practically groped each other silly on the front steps last night. But that was at nearly 3 in the morning. No one was on the street, he'd looked. He was right, they had nothing to worry about.

But Billy had seen the look on his face for that one instant when he'd thought about last night. "Just be extra careful, Magnus. You're my best friend. I don't want anything to happen to you, or to him, if you're as serious as you look about this boy. In truth, I've never seen you look that way when you looked at someone else. It's a nice change," he finished with a genuine smile, however saddened by the previous topic of conversation.

"I will. Stop worrying, cowboy," Magnus teased. They said their goodbyes, and Billy portaled back to his and Alicia's cozy little home, if a home in Brooklyn could be said to be cozy.

He went on about his day, saw a few clients. Woke Alec up around 5, and watched with amusement as he freaked out about the late hour. He was so adorably disheveled; it was hard for Magnus to keep a straight face, which only made Alec more exasperated. At least he still didn't look as though he regretted the events from the previous night.

With a _very_ heated goodbye kiss, Alec left to make his way back to the Institute, promising to come back the next day. Magnus also made him swear to apologize to Isabelle.

By the time 10 o'clock rolled around, he found himself dozing on the couch in his clothes, too tired to get up and get to bed. The room was dark, and he simply let himself drift off to sleep.

He was awoken a few moments later by the door slamming shut. His eyes were still closed, but he just assumed it was Alec. Although, he was surprised Alec would be back so soon.

"Don't even try hurling flames at me, warlock." That was definitely not Alec. He opened his eyes slowly, letting them adjust to the darkness of the room. The figure looming above him had white blonde hair, black eyes, and a disgusting sneer layered over his features. Familiarity pulled at the edges of Magnus' consciousness, but honestly he was too startled to think too far into it. The boy (for he didn't look over Alec's age, and he was quiet strikingly handsome, not taking into account his current expression) was holding a glowing seraph blade about a centimeter away from his throat.

"What do you want?" he stammered, unable to catch his breath, still a little shocked.

"Just your compliance. Go quietly, and it'll be less painful. That is, of course, until we get to our destination. Then, I'm not making any promises," he said with a small smile of menace.

"Wait a minute, what are you—" but his question was cut off.

The heavy, solid handle of the seraph blade had come down against his head, above his right eye. The room was spinning, and his thoughts were all jumbled.

"I said I wanted your compliance. That means no stupid questions that don't deserve answers anyway. I warned you," the boy said, not seeming so much angry, but rather like he expected this, and took a sick pleasure in being able to render Magnus so disoriented.

The blow was taking its toll, Magnus' vision going blurry, darker, until it faded to black as he barely registered that he was being picked up and slung over the boy's broad shoulders.

**EEEEK! Nooo! As I said, next chap is already written, so get to reviewing! It's not going up until I have 10!**

**If you haven't read EIG, Billy is a warlock (obviously) and Alicia is his wife (and a vampire). I'm almost done with their story, which I'll send you if you want it (if you were interested after reading EIG). Maybe if I get good feedback on it, I'll post it to my profile.**

**Also, the song Magnus sang to Alec was "Foolish Games". If you listen to the first verse, its simple enough. But the chorus is rather a good metaphor for their relationship.**

**Adam (Magnus' real life twin) DOES have a crush on Bill. Proof (remove spaces): http:/ /www. youtube. com/ watch? v=l3v3KCZBmZY**

**Okay, on to the replies (if I forget you, I'm sooo sorry!):**

**-taylor: hope you're still liking it so far! Thanks for reviewing!**

**HikariMelody: haha yea he needs to come out, at least to his family if not to the whole world. It causes Magnus a lot of hurt. But then again, obviously secrecy would have saved them if they were a little more careful last night lol.**

**StoryKitten: Can't wait to see what you come up with! Has my horrid angst inspired you, or did it come from somewhere else? I have my fave fics for sure, but still, I always love reading new stuff on here. Bring it on! And thanks for praising my Jonathan skills. I'm not really sure about them, myself.**

**MagnusBaneLove13: Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review and hope you still like this story even though its getting ridiculously sad at times.**

**Bookworm24601: haha I hope your luck is getting better with keeping up with my updates lol. And NOW Jonathan knows. Obviously, and to their detriment. Poor Magnus!**

**READINGisLIFE: Yes, Magnus has to put up with a lot. And I TOTALLY take tears as a compliment! That's kind of my goal with heartbreaking chapters.**

**Fly Away Dreams: Are you thankful for my chapters today? Lol! And yes, reading lemons in the company of family members is never really a good idea. And I'm glad I gave you a yummy chapter to wake up to, but then I went and ruined it with this cliffy. Shame on me lol.**

**DisturbingEmily: Happy Birthday! Glad you liked it!**

**MIGirl6225: Aww I hope you don't hate me anymore! Lol and thank you for having such a high opinion. It really inspires me to keep going when I know people particularly love my style!**

**Beybladeingninjaprincess: they WERE working on fixing their problems, then Jonathan has to come in and EFF everything up lol. **

**Jensonluvsu: I love sugary lemony Malec lol. And I do that all the time (crying at my computer screen reading fics in front of my family). They always look at me weird. I was crying while writing some parts of Connected, too, and they were really weirded out by that lol.**

**MorbidMandy: its been so long since I heard from you! And you should feel guilty…lol jk. Flangsty sex is always good hehe. And yes, those eyes are always Magnus' undoing, no matter how firm his intentions are beforehand. And I'm proud of you for such a long review. Makes up for not reviewing the other chaps! Lol 3**


	10. What Makes You, You

**Hi all! Well I just checked my reviews and I met the 10 mark! Lol So I guess you want this huh? Well here you go. **

**Cassie still owns them. I just put them through hell and hope that you cry about it cuz that means my writing is good…lol!**

**Chapter Song: Walk Away by Mad at Gravity (a good one for Jonathan. He's still mad at Valentine for leaving him, dying and all, but he's getting his revenge I guess…lol)**

**Magnus POV (**_**I know I've done a lot from his POV lately. I promise it will go back to jumping around a little more soon.)**_

He awoke with the most horrible headache he'd ever endured in his life. His vision was blurry at the edges, but he could see more clearly what wasn't in his periphery. He took a look at his surroundings, which seemed completely alien to him. He was in a lavish room, decorated with plush burgundy and gold carpet, walls lined with books in dark cherry wood shelves. There was a desk about 3 feet away from him, scattered with all manner of books and papers that looked about as ancient as he was.

His vision mostly returning, he caught sight of a figure across the room, studying a small book that was cradled in his hands. Upon further inspection, Magnus ascertained two things: that the book was a spellbook that was older than he was, and that the figure holding the spellbook was a Shadowhunter. Two things that were so implausible, he thought he was dreaming.

But then the boy put the book down and began to saunter over to him with the most evil grin on his face. As Magnus' thoughts became less jumbled, he realized that this was the boy who'd cracked him on the head with a seraph blade. He took a moment to really look at him. He was quite handsome, with his pale blonde hair and broad shoulders. Instantly, Magnus was reminded of a very particular someone. This boy was almost a carbon copy of Valentine Morgenstern, in the days just before the Uprising. Then, as the boy drew closer, it hit him; he could almost hear the click inside his brain.

"_Jonathan_," he whispered, not really realizing that he'd spoken.

Just then, the boy raised his hand, armed with another seraph blade, and sliced it across Magnus' cheek.

It took a moment for it to hit him, but then there it was. The burn like no other. He let out a scream. His half demon blood was bubbling as it seeped out of the cut.

"Don't you ever speak my name again, Downworlder. Or you'll get more than a beauty mark," Jonathan sneered. Magnus barely heard him, but the pain was starting to subside to just an annoying sting. He tried to catch his breath.

He tried to reach up and throw sparks, something, anything, at the boy to get him to back away with the blade. But he found he couldn't move either of his hands, or his feet, because they were tied to a rather elaborately upholstered chair. There was also something binding his shoulders to the back of the chair. Struggle as he might, he couldn't get free.

"I wouldn't bother," Jonathan said. "You see, back in the old days, there was a secret group of Nephilim that felt so strongly about the need to dispatch all Downworlders, that they tortured witches and warlocks until they told them about binding spells. So you see? You have your own kind to thank for your predicament. But why do I bother? You know all about the _old_ days, don't you? You've been contaminating the earth for centuries."

"What do you want from me?" Magnus asked through gritted teeth, still pulling feebly at the magical restraints.

"That's easy. The one thing that makes you…_you_," Jonathan said cryptically.

"What do you mean?" Magnus asked, puzzled.

"You'll see," the boy said with a smile that sent chills down Magnus' spine. He tried to control his breathing. He was a warlock for Angel's sake. He was more powerful than this ridiculous, self-aggrandizing human boy. But alas, the restraints wouldn't budge, and the wound on his cheek was still burning and stinging.

Jonathan was back across the room, looking like he was gathering supplies for a science experiment. He held up a small clear vial, the book, and an empty syringe, and made his way back over to the where Magnus was tied down.

He opened the book to his desired page and set it on the floor. When Magnus tried to look down and decipher what was on the page, Jonathan whipped out the seraph blade again, slicing it down his arm. Magnus screamed in pain again at the burn, looking down and seeing his dark blood bubbling out of the wound like it was boiling.

"Stop trying to be clever, warlock. You're getting on my nerves." Jonathan set the vial on the floor next to Magnus' feet, and held the syringe in one hand and the book in the other. "And now, with you, the first half of my little experiment will be complete," he said sinisterly.

He began speaking an incantation. Magnus tried, through the haze of pain, to make out what he was saying, trying to translate the spell in his head. Jonathan was speaking a very old warlock language, but Magnus caught enough words to make a very small bit of sense out of it. As soon as he realized what the spell was entailing, he began struggling so much that the blood began seeping from his wounds more quickly, causing him to become lightheaded.

"Stop! No, please stop! You don't know what you're do—" But Jonathan was already finished. As he spoke the last line of the spell, he plunged the syringe into Magnus' exposed forearm, and began pulling back the plunger, drawing out the desired contents.

Magnus was still screaming, but his voice began to get quieter, although he'd lost none of his intensity. Then, nothing would come out of his mouth. He tried to scream, but it was silent. Then, his body started growing very cold, the way it sometimes felt when he was nearly drained of power. But it didn't stop. It just kept getting colder and colder. Then his vision started failing. It kept getting less and less clear. When Jonathan pulled out the full syringe, he gazed into Magnus' eyes and smiled the most evil smile one could put on a human.

He picked up the vial and emptied the glowing blue contents into it. Magnus looked on in horror. He looked around, and ascertained that he could see, alright, but it was just a lot less clear, less detailed and sharp. Like he'd had on reading glasses, but had now taken them off, and he could still read the page but he had to squint.

His body was the worst. He felt cold all over, and he felt an even weirder feeling. He finally attempted to describe it in his head: like wasn't in control anymore. He liked having power flowing through him, the feeling of being able to make things happen as he wished. But now he felt nothing on the inside, except his heart, which was beating double-time, almost at the normal rate of a human's.

Just then, Jonathan came back over to him, and the last thing he remembered was being struck over the head again, before blacking out entirely.

**Alec POV**

He'd called several times, with no response. He'd even texted, saying that he loved him, and Magnus hadn't answered him. That would have been okay, considering that Magnus was a busy warlock, and had clients to take care of, but not today. Alec had given him his virginity the other night. The least Magnus could do was answer his texts. Something was terribly wrong.

It had been a full day, and now he was getting anxious as he waited for Isabelle, Jace, and Clary to get ready. He'd asked them to come with him to Magnus' flat and look for clues, since he was convinced something bad had happened to him. They were all freshly Marked and suited up in gear, since they didn't know if whatever had taken or hurt Magnus could still be there.

Once they were all ready, they headed in the direction of Brooklyn. It took them less time than normal, since Alec was basically running, with the other three shuffling to keep up.

"Alec, you need to calm down. He probably had one of his wild parties, and right now he's sleeping off the worst hangover in 800 years," Jace said. Alec just glared at him.

"No. You don't understand. He…he would have answered me."

"Why are you so worried about _Magnus_, anyway? I thought you hated him?" Jace said, looking genuinely confused. Alec expected he would, given the way Alec acted around the warlock when they were in company of others. And tonight Alec had rushed into all their rooms, interrupted Jace and Clary's making out, and begged them to get dressed and Marked so they could go see about Magnus because he was worried.

The only one who hadn't complained was Isabelle. He'd apologized to her the first chance he got. But he hadn't told her yet why he was particularly sure that the warlock would have answered _today_ of all days. He supposed it wasn't really her business, but also he wasn't ready to start sharing his love life just yet. Even if she did know about him now.

"I don't hate him. I just…I don't know," he responded lamely. "But that doesn't mean I should just sit around when he could be in danger. That's our job, right? To save people?"

"But he's a warlock," Clary said. As usual, stating the obvious.

"So you're saying he's not a person?" Alec retorted loudly. Clary jumped back, a little startled by Alec's outburst. He just turned around and resumed his jog to Magnus' front steps.

When they reached the correct building, Alec didn't even bother buzzing or knocking. He reached in his pocket and pulled out the key Magnus had given him.

"Hey," Jace said. "Where did you get that?"

"I really, really can't explain right now. So just leave it, okay?" Alec pleaded. Jace didn't say another word.

They walked inside slowly. Alec called out to Magnus. Not surprisingly, he got no answer. They continued up the stairs to his door, which was ajar about an inch. Alec slowly pushed it open, creeping steadily in with the others at his back. He had his bow in hand, arrow notched and ready, in case something jumped out at them. They made their way across the floor, then Alec stopped dead in his tracks.

Magnus lay on the couch, in the same clothes he'd been wearing when Alec left his house yesterday evening. He looked like he was sleeping peacefully, and for a second, Alec felt stupid and extremely guilty for dragging the others all the way here. But as he looked closer, he just couldn't shake the feeling that something was…off.

Magnus usually had this _glow_ about him. It was the power within him; he sometimes radiated heat from it. But Magnus' body seemed to radiate cold instead. Alec choked back a sob of relief when he looked at his chest and found that it rose up and down steadily, showing that he wasn't dead.

Alec bent down, the others standing a few feet behind him. He gently nudged the warlock, trying to wake him slowly. Magnus stirred, rolling over to his back and stretching, his eyes still closed.

"Alec?" he asked in a very raspy voice, somehow too affected to be caused by just sleep. Alec grew weary. He began raking his eyes over Magnus' body, checking for injuries. There was a long gash in his right arm that had puckered at the edges, with dried blood on the sides.

Then he heard three distinct gasps from behind him. He looked up, wincing as he saw a similar cut across Magnus' cheek. Those cuts had been made by an angel blade, because they showed evidence of burning. But then, he saw what the others had seen. He jumped back like he'd been electrocuted.

The four of them stared at Magnus as he stared confusedly back at them with his flat green eyes, their round human pupils contracting against the harsh light of the room.

**Whaaaa? I know that's what you're sayin' right now, huh? Lol **

**Thank you too all of you who reviewed, and I promise I'm working diligently on the next chapter! (It might be later tonight or tomorrow before it goes up. But you won't get it until I get 15 reviews on this one! Mwahahah!)**

**MorbidMandy: aww, you can hug Magnus if you want! Happy Thanksgiving to you, too!**

**Bookworm24601: Yay for not burning the house down! And I'm glad your luck is improving lol. As soon as I finish the Billy and Alicia story, I'll send it to you. **

**Crazywing18: Thanks for reviewing, finally! I'm glad you like my stories, even if you're just now telling me lol. I hope you review more often, because I like to hear what my readers have to say. As for updating so fast, I usually have the entire story mapped out before I even start (I only change things here and there), so chapters are basically already written in my head. It's just a matter of sitting down and hashing out the details.**

**MagnusBaneLove13: of COURSE Magnus is real. Lol anyone who says otherwise is dumb haha! And thank you so much for liking my writing style. I think the dialogue stays realistic because when I write, I let it sit for a little bit (an hour or so), then come back to it and reread for stupidness. Then I edit out said stupidness, because once I'm not in writing mode anymore, I can catch all the craptastic shit that happens to get in there. Sometimes I've rewritten whole scenes because I'm like, Magnus would NEVER say that, that's dumb. Lol**

**Cap'NCupcake: MADE. MY. FUCKING. DAY. When I read that. Especially the Stepbrothers ref. One of my favorite movies EVER. I'm really happy you like this story and the style of it. I work hard not to be cliché. If you like this one, you should read my other stuff. I would love to know what you think of the concepts I built those on. I try to do things different every time. Even if I'm just writing smutty one-shots, I try to have a premise that's different than "oh, you're hot, Alec. Let's screw" "Okay!" lol. Omg I would've put this chap up a lot sooner if I had checked, because your review counted for like 5 or 6 just by itself! Lol LOVE.**

**READINGisLIFE: thanks! And I didn't think that sounded sarcastic…cuz its totally true lol.**

**Jensonluvsu: I'm glad I can get such a wide range of emotions out of you in just one chapter! Means I'm doing mah job right.**

**Max: haha not very long, but it did contribute to the count. Thanks for reviewing!**

**Fly Away Dreams: Ya, this ain't gonna be pretty lol. Happy black Friday! Lol. And thanks for coming back to review it even if you read it last night haha. And I do hope you keep coming back, despite the hell I put these precious boys through.**

**DisturbingEmily: You're welcome! Hope it was a good one. Haha I just couldn't resist putting him somewhere in here. I love him so much, with his cute cuddly tiger self. Just wait till you read his story. I, personally, think its sweet lol. Haha and yes the second one counted too! **

**StoryKitten: I'm so deeply sorry for you. But if something productive can come out of pain, then no one ever dies in vain. I can't wait to read what you write! Thank you for taking the time to read my story even in such a difficult time. I myself sometimes use literature or fanfic as a release from the stresses of life.**


	11. Not Downworlders

**Holy cow! I got like a gazillion reviews! Idk if I'll be able to actually reply to all of them, given that most of them were quite long (thank you! I love it when they're long!), but I'll be sure to put all your names at the end. Cuz I love you so gosh darn much!**

**I've had a lot of speculation about where this is going…lol. And bravo to one or two of you who are on the right track. I'm not gonna tell you who you are though hehehe. I'm just evil.**

**Cassandra Clare owns the wonderful characters. I own the plot, damnit.**

**Chapter Song: Devour by Shinedown (LOVE this song. And it kind of sets the tone for the chapter, with all the chaos going on.)**

**Alec POV**

He tried to control his breathing. He didn't want to scare Magnus, since he obviously didn't see the problem with his appearance at the moment.

"Magnus? Are you ok?" he asked slowly, stepping close to the couch once again.

"I have a headache from hell, if that's what you're asking. Jesus, how long have I been asleep?" Alec winced at his voice, which was still barely above a whisper, like he hadn't spoken in years and just now started trying.

"Dude, your ey—" Jace cut off his sentence when he saw the death glare in Alec's eyes.

"Magnus, I haven't been able to reach you for almost twenty-four hours. But I don't think you've been asleep all that time."

"Whatever. Would you please stop talking? You're making it worse," he rasped. Alec saw he was shivering slightly. "Damnit why is it so cold in here?" he whined.

Clary walked over and put her hand to his forehead. "He feels normal to me. He doesn't seem to have a fever or anything."

"Normal as in _human_ normal?" Isabelle asked, looking worried.

"Yeah, why?" Clary asked, puzzled.

"But warlocks are supposed to be about…" Isabelle trailed off, thinking.

"One sixteen point eight," Alec said in a worried tone.

"What?" Clary asked.

"It's their power," Isabelle explained, taking pity. "It's kind of like electricity, it gives off heat. Their normal body temperature is way above ours. Kind of like vampires are a lot colder than we are."

"Magnus," Alec said to him gently. He noticed Magnus had closed his eyes again, presumably to fight off his headache. "Are the lights too bright in here?"

"Yes, damnit. Gah! My head is killing me!" he said in his barely there voice.

Alec took a deep breath, and then tried the experiment that had been working its way up in his mind. "Turn them off, then."

"What?" Magnus asked, opening his weirdly human eyes to stare incredulously at Alec.

"Turn the lights off, Magnus." Alec waited patiently, his stomach in knots.

"Oh, right." Magnus closed his eyes again, and snapped his fingers. He snapped them again. He opened his eyes against the harsh light, and snapped again. When nothing happened still, he threw both his hands toward the ceiling, presumably in an effort to throw whatever he had into the simple task. "What the hell?"

"So, is he, like, _human_ now?" Clary asked, incredulous.

"No, I don't think so," It was Jace this time. "At least, not entirely. He said he felt cold. If he was completely human, ninety eight point six would feel normal to him, not cold."

"You're right," said Alec. "But then, what's wrong with him?" He looked back at Magnus, who had his eyes closed again.

"Would all of you shut up? I just want to get some sleep. Someone please turn the damn light off," he whined.

"Ohhh no you don't. Magnus, you can't go to sleep. We don't know what's happened to you." Alec protested, yanking at his arm and trying to get him to stay awake.

"Mom will want to hear about this," Jace said quietly. Alec nodded. Jace turned to face the girls. "Go find him some clothes. Preferably something easy, if that even exists in his closet."

"Why can't you just bring him in there and let him change?" Clary asked.

"Because, sweetness. One: does he _look_ like he can walk in there and do it himself? and Two: You should know Magnus well enough to know that he should _not_ be looking in a mirror right now," Jace finished. Alec couldn't help but acknowledge that he was right. Magnus looked like hell, his clothes torn and his face sliced open on one side, not to mention his hair. Oh yes, a mirror would be disaster.

Alec pulled out his cell and dialed his mom's number.

"Alec? Where are you? You need to come home right now, all of you," his mother said, a little loudly but not quite yelling.

"We're over at Magnus'. Mom, something's really wrong. Magnus is—"

"Please don't tell me. Not another one. For Angel's sake! Just come home Alec. And bring him with you." She hung up. Alec looked back at Magnus.

"Well, at least we do know one thing," he said.

"What's that?" Jace asked.

"Whoever did this to him, it was a Shadowhunter." Alec looked pitifully at the gash across Magnus' cheek, tracing it softly with his finger. He didn't even register that this gesture might be a little tender, in front of Jace. "Look at the cut. It was definitely made by a seraph blade. If he has so many human qualities now, I bet this was made before they did whatever they did to him."

"Yeah, you're right," Jace said. Although, he was studying Alec's hand, the one still caressing Magnus' face, a little too intently. Alec removed it.

The girls were back with the simplest clothes they could find which, as it turns out, were Alec's that he'd left over here. He immediately went red in the face, but from the confused looks of the two girls, he discerned that they hadn't figured out who actually owned the clothes.

After much coaxing, the boys got Magnus to get up and changed into the modest blue jeans and t-shirt, which (thankfully, since Alec liked clothes that were two sizes too big for him) fit almost perfectly.

The girls were waiting outside on the front steps when they came out, Jace and Alec each with an arm slung over their shoulders, because Magnus could barely trudge a few steps on his own. With some effort, they were finally in a cab and on their way to Manhattan.

When they arrived at the Institute, they basically dragged Magnus into the elevator, down the hall, and into the library, where they found a group already assembled in heated discussion.

All eyes focused on them when the five of them came strolling into the room, Jace and Alec practically carrying Magnus.

"Who is that?" Maryse asked. "I thought you were bringing Magnus Bane?"

"This _is_ Magnus Bane," Jace said as they plopped him down in an empty chair.

Magnus lifted his head sleepily. "Can I borrow a jacket? Jesus it's freezing in here," he said, shivering as though to punctuate his words. Alec shrugged off his leather jacket and wrapped it around his shoulders. Damn, he was either getting bold, or the gravity of the situation trumped his nervousness about seeming close to the warlock.

"Dear Angel," Maryse said, along with a couple of others around the table.

"He looks so…_plain_," one of the gathered Shadowhunters said from across the table, a look of incredulity on his face as he took in Magnus' appearance, and his eyes.

Magnus seemed to perk up at this sentiment. "Hey, I've got a massive headache today, so forgive me if I didn't go through my two hour morning routine just to look good for all of _you_."

Alec tried to mouth across the table, "He hasn't looked in a mirror yet."

"That's probably wise," Maryse added quietly. Then she turned back to the discussion at the table, now including Magnus in the mix. "Obviously, if this person bested a High Warlock, as well as the rest of you, he's powerful. Or he's got powerful weapons at his disposal."

"Yeah, and whoever it is has it out bad for Downworlders," said a Shadowhunter boy, no more than 16. Alec thought his name might have been Peter. He was seated next to another boy, about the same age, that also looked vaguely familiar, but different. His skin was pale, and his eyes seemed distant. All of a sudden, Alec knew where he'd seen him.

"Dimondian?" Jace said, echoing Alec's thoughts. He had seen Dian at the Seelie Court before. But this boy looked nothing like a Fae. And, Alec remembered, he and Peter where nearly inseparable. He began to get a horrible feeling of dread deep in his gut.

Alec recognized Sara, the Shadowhunter from the day he and Magnus had their big fight. The one who's brother was a werewolf. The man seated next to her was her brother, he assumed. He couldn't tell whether he had been changed, as weres usually looked practically human most of the time. But he did gather from the conversation that he hadn't been able to shift to his wolf form in about a week, since he'd been back.

Then there was Felicia, the daughter of a Shadowhunter named Julia Mayweather. Felicia was nice enough, even for a vampire. She'd only been changed about a month ago. But as Alec studied her closer, he found the same telltale signs that she'd also been a victim of this crazy Shadowhunter. Her eyes no longer shined, and her chest rose and fell with her breaths. He could tell she was having difficulty controlling it, since she hadn't had to breathe in a month or so. He bet her heartbeat was racing, too.

This was all just too much. He tried to listen in on the conversation going on around the table again. He gathered that none of the Downworlders who'd been taken had any recollection of what had been done to them. Also, they couldn't be exactly _human _now. For one, Magus felt cold, and two, both the former Shadowhunters (Michael and Felicia) didn't have their Marks back. Also, Felicia still hungered for blood, but couldn't extend her fangs. Magnus felt so _wrong _without his power running through him. It was all so odd.

Then, the inevitable question came up. Everyone threw up theories as to why _these_ particular Downworlders had been targeted, and no others. There were some solid explanations, but then the rest of the table always found a hole in them.

Then, an older man to Alec's right, a Nephilim, voiced the theory that Alec was dreading.

"Has anyone noticed that we've all failed to look at what's right under our noses here? The one connection that all these Downworlders share?" he asked. Everyone looked at him, waiting for him to go on. "Look at this gathering of Shadowhunters, arguing so intently over a few Downworlders." At the menacing glares of Sara, Julia, and the others, he went on. "Each of these Downworlders is connected rather closely with a Shadowhunter."

The rest of them looked around. It was true.

"Well, except for the warlock. He's not really connected with anyone here." Alec's cheeks flared up in embarrassment mixed with anger, but Isabelle saved him.

"Yes he is. He lends his services to us all the time, most of the time free of charge. I would say he helps our family a lot more often than others. That could be it," she said, stealing a glance at Alec.

"Thank you," he mouthed to her. Now was definitely not the time to be bringing _that _cat out of the bag. She smiled briefly.

"Well, there you go. I guess we're looking for someone who particularly wants to punish Downworlders for allying themselves so closely with Shadowhunters," said another voice from the table.

"But what was the point of removing from them whatever made them Downworlders? I mean, torturing them, I can see. But why take away their Downworlder…essence…then give them right back?" Maryse asked.

"Maybe the person wanted Shadowhunters not to commune with Downworlders anymore, so he made them…_not _Downworlders?" Peter offered, though even he didn't look that confident in his assessment.

"I think it means that this isn't over yet," Michael said. The rest of them seemed to reluctantly agree.

**Well, what the hell is going on? Hmm…You'll see soon enough. **

**Okay, as I said, there were, like, a million reviews! So, in order not to bore you with another whole 1000 words replying to all of them, I'll just thank all those that reviewed:**

**Kellydlc**

**Lallie Owesome**

**DisturbingEmily**

**The PerfectAspiration**

**Experience Before Wisdom**

**Katara-alchemist**

**Jensonluvsu**

**MagnusBaneLove13**

**-taylor**

**Fly Away Dreams**

**Cap'NCupcake**

**Bookworm24601**

**Beybladeingninjaprincess**

**Crazywing18**

**MorbidMandy**

**StoryKitten**

**READINGisLIFE**

**Thanks so much to all of you! Your reviews mean sooooooooooo effin much to me. If all of you review this one, then you'll get the next chap before the end of the day. And I'm tellin' you now: You. Will. Like. It.**


	12. Could I Have You?

**Wow! I'm gone for like a few hours and all of a sudden I have another gazillion reviews lol. Well I will make you wait no more! Here is your next chapter!**

**Cassandra Clare owns my precious boys. But I own Magnus' real life twin, Adam. Yes, I do. Not joking. I'm dead serious. **

***gets manhandled by Tommy***

"**Whatever! He's mine, bitch!"**

"**Oh no, Mr. Ratliff. He belongs to me. So if you would like to grope him some more, get in line."**

"**But I wants him alls to mahself!" *pouts***

"**Too bad, Tommy Joe. At least you get to go on tour with him, while I sit here appeasing all these reviewers with more chapters. Be thankful for the time you have, because when the tour is over, he's coming home with me and you are going back in your little kitty pen."**

***pouts some more* *looks really adorable while pouting***

"**You want a kiss, Tommy?"**

"**Yes." *perks up***

***Kisses him sweetly on the lips***

"**Thanks, Brookie."**

"**Am I a better kisser than Adam?"**

"**Not by a longshot" *skips away with bass in hand***

**Alright, on with the show.**

**Chapter Song: Cast It Out by 10 Years (simply AWESOME angsty/rough smex song. Trust me)**

**OH! One last, although monumentally important, thing: This pic is what inspired this chapter. I absolutely love it and think it displays so much feeling without coming across as kitschy and cliché. (remove spaces)**

**http:/ /browse. deviantart. com/ ?q h=§ion=&q=gay+love#/d25r47v**

**Alec POV**

It had been 2 weeks. Two whole weeks without so much as a peep from the crazy kidnapper. Maybe it was all over. Magnus had been trying to convince him of that for a while now, but it was finally starting to sink in.

Magnus was feeling better, though he was still…strangely plain. He still wore his glitter and glitz and flashy clothes, but they just didn't look right without the eyes. When he'd had cat eyes, it made the clothes look very in character on him. Now, he just looked like he was trying too hard to fit in at a gay club, instead of walking in said gay club and having every twink in the room want to pounce on him. Although, today he'd opted for a wardrobe that was a mirror image of Alec's: jeans and a tank top.

It was odd, but Alec kept telling himself that if Magnus was okay in every other way, it wasn't a bad thing. He'd even started to wonder if this meant he was no longer immortal. That would mean they could actually grow _old _together. What a thought. Except, they would probably have to fess up about their relationship sometime between now and then.

He gazed down at the sleeping warlock (could he still call him that? He supposed he could if he wanted to), whose head was situated at the moment in Alec's lap. It was comforting. It seemed so normal, like they could do this forever. Just sit here and watch television and joke and kiss occasionally.

But still, something kept bothering him. Alec just couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't over. That the kidnapper was just biding his time before striking again. But for now, he would spend what time he could cuddling with Magnus on the couch, and doing other comfortably mundane things to pass the time.

Magnus began to stir. Alec removed his hand, which had been absently scratching his scalp gently, which is probably what put him to sleep to begin with.

"No, don't stop," Magnus whined. Alec chuckled softly and went back to running his fingers through his boyfriend's spun silk strands of onyx.

"Did you have a nice nap?" Alec asked.

"Yes, wonderful," he said, stretching languidly as if to accentuate his statement. "Have you been awake this whole time?"

"Yeah. I like watching you sleep. You look so peaceful. And _quiet_," he joked.

"I hope I didn't drool on your jeans, though. That stain would be hard to explain to Maryse."

Alec's face grew red, and Magnus reached up to run a finger across his jaw.

"I will never get used to what that color in your face does to my nether regions," he continued. Alec's face grew even redder, and he smiled up at him.

Magnus moved to sit up, motioning for Alec to stay where he was. Then, he proceeded to straddle Alec's hips, bringing said nether regions into gloriously close contact. Alec groaned. He was already hard, and so was Magnus.

Alec fisted his hands in the warlock's hair, gazing into his smooth, flat green eyes; Magnus braced himself with both hands on the back of the couch. Alec brought his face down, and their lips met.

Instantly, their tongues darted into each other's mouths. There was nothing better than kissing Magnus, letting his capable tongue explore all the depths inside Alec's mouth. Well…_almost_ nothing better, he thought.

As their makeout gained intensity, he found it was simple and natural to find the hem of Magnus' tank top and bring it over his head, breaking the kiss for a split second. Then, it didn't feel at all weird to have Magnus do the same to him. Their naked chests pressed together and their moans and hums became more audible throughout the apartment.

He wasn't even scared in the least this time. The first time, he'd kept his bravado up because he knew it was what he wanted, but that didn't mean it wasn't at all scary. It was his first time, and did turn out a little scary and painful. But then, by the end, it was ridiculously enjoyable. He couldn't wait to do it again.

Somehow, they'd both gotten out of their jeans and back down into their position on the couch. They kept up their kissing and groping, his hands brazenly going down to squeeze Magnus' ass rather forcefully, causing him to moan, throw his head back, and call out Alec's name before plunging back down to capture the Shadowhunter's lips again.

It was rather odd, without the radiant heat that was so inherently _Magnus_, but it was still pleasant. Magnus could still kiss the same, still felt the same in his arms. Although Alec loved the power that Magnus exuded, he kind of liked it this way. If anything, it felt as though they were more equal than before. Perhaps that's what prompted his next act of bravery.

"God, I want you so fucking bad right now," Magnus moaned against his mouth. Alec let out a sharp breath as he felt his cock jerk up.

He pulled back a little from Magnus' ravenous lips. "Magnus?" he said, voice still low with desire.

"Hmm," the warlock replied from his new spot, which was Alec's jugular. Alec fought to control his voice.

"Magnus," he said again, and Magnus looked up into his eyes. "I was thinking maybe…I could…" Magnus cocked one perfect dark eyebrow, waiting for him to spit it out. "Maybe I could have _you_," he finished in a whisper.

He watched as Magnus went from one raised eyebrow to wide eyed, then he closed his eyes and took a deep, shakey breath. At first, Alec was dismayed. He thought his request was too bold.

Then, when Magnus opened his eyes again, Alec had never seen human eyes blaze with so much intensity. Immediately, Magnus attacked his mouth again, then moved over to whisper in his ear.

"I thought it would take months for me to talk you into it," he said, voice still a bit unsteady with lust. This time it was Alec's turn to let his eyes slip shut and take a shakey breath.

Then, he regained his steadiness. Remembering that Magnus liked it rough, he gave a rather forceful upward thrust, causing their groins to grind together with delicious friction. He swore Magnus whimpered. As it was, he was already biting down on his bottom lip. He only did that when he was close. Was he, already? Just at the thought? Well, that was hot.

Alec brought his own middle two fingers to his mouth, coating them with saliva. Then, with the other hand, he brought one of Magnus' hands to his mouth and began running his tongue up and down the warlock's palm.

With his own slick fingers, he worked his way around. While Magnus' hand was still in his mouth, Alec pushed in with his middle finger. Magnus groaned loudly, curling his fingers around Alec's bottom teeth, squeezing his chin. Alec took the opportunity to bite down on all four imprisoned fingers. This caused another gasp and moan from the man above him.

Alec pushed his ring finger in as well, earning him the most exquisite whimper. It was so tight on just his fingers, he didn't know how he was going to fit. He didn't want to cause Magnus any pain. But, then again, Magnus seemed eager and probably had more experience than he cared to mention.

He continued to work his fingers in and out at a steady pace, still trapping Magnus' hand in his mouth. After a while, it didn't seem so tight anymore. He withdrew his fingers. Magnus looked down at him with anticipation in his wild eyes. Alec grabbed Magnus by the wrist and pulled his hand from his mouth, guiding it down to his own erection. Magnus slathered it with saliva until it glistened, then he took his hand away.

Magnus leaned up on his knees, reaching around behind him and placing Alec's incredibly stiff cock at his entrance.

Then he began to lower himself down onto Alec. The Shadowhunter reveled in the changes in his face as he fought the initial pain, letting Alec fill him up. When Magnus was sitting fully on Alec's lap again, Alec thought he might pass out from the shiver that ran through his entire body, seeming to also radiate through Magnus.

"Holy fuck," they both groaned in unison. Any other time it would have been comical.

Alec tried to think straight. Is this what Magnus felt like when he was inside of _him_? By the Angel, how had Magnus held off pressuring him for sex? Alec hadn't even gone a full thrust and he was already addicted to the feeling.

Then Magnus was moving. He came up slow, then sank back down. He moaned loudly, enough that Alec was momentarily afraid the neighbors might hear. But then, in the next instant, he didn't give a damn. It was too fucking amazing.

As Magnus started to go faster, Alec opened his eyes to gaze at his boyfriend in the throes of passion. It was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. His first time, he was a little preoccupied with the pain and then the pleasure to really realize what was going on with Magnus. But this was almost enough to get him off, by itself. Even without the constant sheen of glitter and glitz, Magnus glowed. It was like he shone with pleasure. His head was thrown back and his hands were gripping Alec's shoulders so forcefully, he knew there would be marks there from his fingernails.

Finally, Alec regained his mind enough to participate instead of just watching. Each time Magnus would sink back down onto him, he would thrust up to meet him. This caused even more lovely, lustful noises from the warlock. He was back to biting his lip again, nearly drawing blood by the looks of it.

Alec was close as well. He didn't think he'd be able to hold out much longer, but he wanted to make Magnus come first. He reached down to stroke Magnus' throbbing erection, eliciting another round of moans and sighs of his name. He continued in time with his thrusts, and within seconds the warlock was emptying hot liquid onto Alec's chest and stomach.

The sight of Magnus in such ecstasy caused him to erupt inside Magnus with so much force it startled him a little. As he did, Magnus let out another groan of pleasure, before sinking down to put his head on Alec's shoulder.

**Magnus POV**

"Jesus Christ," he mumbled against Alec's sweaty skin.

"Was it that bad?"

He picked his head up to look at Alec, but saw immediately that he was joking. And, dare I say, a bit smug. Well, Magnus guessed he deserved to be. He had an amazing cock, that one.

"Shut up, Shadowhunter. You're ruining my high," he retorted, but smiled to show he was only teasing. They kissed languidly for another few moments before the tingling pain in Magnus' knees began to make itself known. He heaved himself up off the couch on shakey legs, Alec coming up instantly to wrap his arms around him, catching and righting him.

"Careful, there," Alec replied, placing a sweet kiss on the tip of Magnus' nose.

"I feel that we both are in dire need of something right now," Magnus said.

"What on earth could you possibly want right now?" Alec asked, incredulous.

"A long, hot, steamy…" he began.

"My Angel, you're a little greedy tonight," Alec said.

"…shower," he finished. Alec sighed and nodded his head, smiling.

**Told you you'd like it. So there. Don't hate me as much? Well you will next chapter, probably, lol. I still love YOU GUYS though, if it makes you feel better.**

**Crazywing18: I think I only mentioned it once before this chapter, but they are green. Same color, just with round, normal pupils.**

**Lunareclipse3: I hope you'll be less confused after the next couple of chapters. Its kind of my goal to confuse you at first, otherwise the story gets boring. Thanks for sticking with me!**

**DisturbingEmily: hope you enjoyed this one!**

**StoryKitten: well I'm glad I could make your day a teeny bit better. Hopefully this chapter made it even better. I'm not going to tell you whether you're on the right track or not, but I will say someone else has had the same speculations as you do. *evil smile***

**-taylor: Yeah, this can't bode well for the whole "Malec secret relationship" thing, lol. And, same as Kitten, I'm not going to tell you if you're right, cuz that would ruin it!**

**READINGisLIFE: yeah, Izzy kind of saved his ass there. But then again, the inevitable is bound to happen sooner or later…**

**Katara-alchemist: when I saw that you'd reviewed, I did a small little victory dance. I absolutely LOVE your stories. I think I've read them each a couple of times, lol. Ben is probably my favorite OC in any story, any fandom. Sometimes I love him a little more than Magnus, even (on days when my Magnus gets a little bitchy). If you would stop making him so damn cute and cuddly, maybe I'd stop ditching Malec for him sometimes lol. Thank you so much for reviewing my story!**

**Jensonluvsu: yea I would say Alec owes Izzy. But we shall see what happens in next chapter. And yes, Jonathan's torture is affecting everyone a little differently, but then again the same. (confused now? Good. Lol jk)**

**Experience Before Wisdom: why would I groan? I LOVE reviews! Lol and yours are just as good as the rest. Thank you for taking the time to do it, anyway. And I'm glad to feed your addicition, btw.**

**Cap'NCupcake: I like that I'm a dirty monster. Only if I'm the Lady GaGa kind of dirty monster. I always thought that if Jonathan/Sebastian had a theme song, it would be Monster by GaGa. Just a thought. And why do your hands smell like peppermint? EXPLAIN. And btw, I rofl continuously at your reviews. They make me happy. They are like fics in themselves, they are so long. LOVE it! And you don't know nothin' bout border patrol, up there by Canada. Come down here and try to smuggle some shit across from Mexico. The Migra will cavity search you and then skin you alive in a Tejano jail cell. True story. (Not really) **

**Fly Away Dreams: at the end of this, you should tell me if you were right in your hunches about the plot. I'd really like to see if someone else's brain is as effed up as mine, lol. This one is a doozey, I think. It took me longer than usual to hammer out the details. Just to give you a timeframe, I think I started trying to think up the plot details of this before Camille captured Alec in EIG. That. Long. Lol.**

**MorbidMandy: as I've said before, its my job to make you feel clueless! That way, you keep coming back and my story doesn't get boring! I'm glad you're liking it and thanks for reviewing. When are we going to get more cancer!Alec ? Soon? Peeez? Kthnxbai.**


	13. Danger Trumps Secrecy

**Okay. Before I share anything else with you, I've decided that you all need to have a little faint session (if you are an Adam fan, that is). So I offer you this. I believe Magnus possessed Adam during the whole of this particular number. It's got a little of everything. Hot smokin' (stoned!Adam!). Classic rock done right. Microphone blow jobs. Feathers. Glitter. But I, myself, had my fangirl seizure at 7:35-8:27. By the end of that little ditty, I was about ready to die. HOE. LEE. FU. KUH. **

**http:/ /www. youtube. com/ watch?v=RY7kbII9oG8**

**Now on with the story.**

**Cassie owns them still. Damnit. And I'm still angry at Tommy. If you watch the video, you'll know why. Lucky bastard.**

**Chapter Song: Inside the Fire by Disturbed (Jonathan's little message to the rest of them, perhaps?)**

**Isabelle POV**

She'd returned home from a date to find her mother in an uproar. The scene in front of Isabelle reminded her of the chaos from a couple weeks ago, and it set her stomach on edge.

There was a room full of Shadowhunters, most of Conclave had gathered in the Institute's library. But also present, oddly, were Michael, Dian, and Felicia. All of them seemed close to breaking down. They all still looked strange, almost-but-not-quite human.

"What's going on, Mom?" Isabelle asked as she came through the door.

"There you are! I've been so worried!" Maryse enveloped her daughter in a tight hug, completely out of character for her.

"What's the matter?" Isabelle asked, a feeling of dread growing in her stomach.

"The kidnapper has come out of hiding, so to speak. Sara, Peter, and Julia have all been taken. I think our theory was right, that he's angry with Shadowhunters that ally themselves closely with Downworlders. I feared for the worst when Jace said you'd gone out. I was so afraid you would get captured, because of Magnus' connection to our family. We don't know which one of us he would take, but probably the most convenient." Her mother looked beside herself with relief.

Meanwhile, Isabelle was nearly hyperventilating. Her mother looked at her curiously, wondering what was the matter if they were all safe under the roof of the Institute.

Isabelle knew _they_ were safe. Because it dawned on her that _they_ weren't who he wanted. And she knew that her entire family wasn't all in the Institute right now. She'd covered for Alec when he snuck out last night. He hadn't been home in hours. But he was with Magnus, right? Nothing to worry about, as long as they stayed together. But then again, the kidnapper took Magnus. Who's to say he couldn't overpower him again?

Isabelle warred with herself inside her head for what seemed like hours, but was probably a few seconds. She decided that the danger trumped Magnus and Alec's need for secrecy, because obviously, the kidnapper knew already.

"Mom, Alec's not here," she said.

"What do you mean? He's been sleeping all this time. You said he didn't feel well and to leave him alone," Maryse began, getting the stern mother look in her eyes.

"He snuck out last night. I helped him. Mom, it's him. He's who the kidnapper wants," she finished shakily.

"We don't know that," Maryse tried to reason, but starting to get panicky again now that she knew her son wasn't home.

"Yes, I do. I know because…because…" she wasn't sure if she could finish, knowing she would out her brother. He'd never trust her again. But then again, he could be in fatal danger.

"What, Isabelle?" Maryse practically yelled. Isabelle noticed Jace standing in the corner, eyes riveted on her. But it didn't matter anymore.

"He's the one from our family that's allied with a Downworlder. He and Magnus have been seeing each other for months. They kept it from everyone, for Alec's sake, because they knew what the Clave would do if they found out Alec was…" but she couldn't say it. "They love each other, Mom. I've seen it," she said, tears starting to well up in her eyes.

Her mother was speechless. For the first time in Isabelle's whole life, Maryse Lightwood couldn't think of a damn thing to say. Whether it was because she just found out her son was gay, or seeing a Downworlder, or in love, or in danger because of that love, Isabelle couldn't tell. So many emotions passed over her face, it was hard to read them. She stole a look at Jace, but he looked as shocked as Maryse. Alec and Magnus were good at hiding, that was for sure.

"Call your brother. Tell him to come home as soon as he can," Maryse said in a quiet voice, which Isabelle recognized as her trying to keep her calm while she was in danger of blowing up.

Isabelle whipped out her cell and as fast as she could, dialed her brother's number.

**Alec POV**

They were steamed and sated, lying sideways on the bed still wrapped in a plush electric blue towel. Alec had never been more relaxed in his entire life. The world didn't get better than this moment, right here.

Five glittery nails reached up and twined in his messy, still wet hair. It went smoothly through, compliments of the expensive conditioner Magnus had talked him into. Well, it was easy, come to think of it, with the warlock's hands massaging his scalp so invigoratingly.

He let out a long sigh. Nothing could ruin this moment, ever.

He took that back when he heard the obnoxiously annoying Nokia tune coming from his phone. Damn it all to hell.

He groaned, trying to disentangle himself from the slender steel arms around him.

"Just let it ring, baby. Please? Just this once?" Magnus whined, pulling him closer and grinding their naked hips together, causing Alec's eyes to roll back in his head.

But the incessant sound just kept on, like whoever it was kept calling over and over just to annoy him. He finally extricated himself, taking the towel and wrapping it low on his hips, leaving Magnus gloriously nude on the bed. He went to the living room where his jeans still lay on the floor where they were discarded earlier in the night. He reached in the back pocket and pulled out the loud ringing phone. It was Isabelle.

He flipped it open. "What, Izzy? I'm a little…uh…well this really isn't a good time," he stuttered, not sure if he'd given too much away. She knew about him and Magnus dating, yes. But he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to give her any images of what they'd been doing for the past several hours. His face reddened, even though there was no one there to see it.

But Izzy sounded a little distraught. "Alec, you need to get home now."

"Why? I thought you covered for me? Did Mom check my room?" He grew weary. He'd find some way to explain though, strategically leaving Magnus out of it completely. But then, at Isabelle's next words, his whole world seemed to shatter.

"I told her. I couldn't help it, Alec, I swear. It's important. Just please come home! And please, please by the Angel be careful," she said frantically, before hanging up quickly, not giving him time to argue.

Alec was practically steaming. His body couldn't decide whether to be insanely angry with Isabelle for telling, or uncontrollably embarrassed and stricken with the fact that now his mother knew his secret. Both seemed equally horrible.

"What is it?" Magnus asked from the hallway, having dressed himself in a loosely tied blue silk robe. Alec didn't even notice the bulge peeking through the folds. He was too red in the face, too angry, too taken aback. When Magnus noticed his face, he came rushing over, taking Alec in his arms. "Alexander, what's the matter?"

Alec did register, however, that even without his radiant warlock-ness, his full name rolling off those lips was still liquid and soothing when it wanted to be.

"Isabelle. She told my mom about…about us," he stammered, looking into Magnus' green eyes, which were full of concern.

"Oh, dear. What do you think is going to happen now?" he asked, looking worried.

"I'll be kicked out. Stripped. Thrown out alone into the mundane world," he said with finality, like it had already been done.

"You won't be alone, Alec. We'll just be regular mundanes together," Magnus said with a sweep of his hand over Alec's forehead, pushing his hair back.

"No, Magnus. You aren't a mundane. I don't care how much you look like it. You're still…I don't know," he trailed off.

"I'm what? A warlock? How do you figure? I can't do magic, my heart beats like yours, my devil's mark is gone," he said, pointing to his eyes. "I'm as mundane as they come."

"No. If you were truly mundane, you wouldn't be cold all the time. You'd feel normal. And you wouldn't feel so…_wrong_ without your magic. Don't try to deny it; I've seen the look on your face when you think about conjuring up breakfast or a latte or turning on the lights. It looks like you are genuinely not comfortable in your own skin. No. You're still a warlock, but someone's stolen it from you. Just like Michael and Felicia and Dian. What I can't figure out is why you act so damn _okay_ with it all." He was out of breath after his long speech.

"Alec. It's complicated." Magnus replied lamely.

"Whatever. Don't share it with me." He yanked on his jeans and tank top, shoved on his boots. "But right now I have to go home and get reamed for who I am," he said sarcastically. "See you later, Magnus."

He turned to stomp out the door.

"I love you, Alexander," Magnus said quietly, and Alec could hear the desperation in his voice. "We will get through this together."

He was frozen, his hand on the door knob, having pulled it halfway open. He turned his head slowly to face the living room again. He couldn't deny it, even when he was angry at the world, and at Magnus.

"I love you, too, Magnus. I'm sorry," he said, and walked out the door.

**Jonathan POV**

He'd been waiting all fucking night. He'd seen the stupid blue eyed pussy go up those steps. He had to come out some time. He tried to content himself and keep his mind off of the disgusting things they were probably doing by thinking about what fun he was going to have once he had his last victim in his grip. He'd particularly enjoy this one, he knew. He was practically giddy with anticipation.

Just then, he heard a door slam. He looked up and there was his prize, trudging down the steps and thankfully not paying a damn bit of attention to his surroundings. Jonathan smiled. Like taking candy from a baby.

He sauntered up behind Alec, keeping pace a few yards back just so the warlock didn't see from a window and sound the alarm too soon. He didn't want the others to get to the destination until he'd made all his preparations.

Once they'd rounded a couple of corners, and he figured he was a safe distance away from the warlock's flat, he moved in.

He was about a foot from Alec's back. "Hey, fag," he sneered. Alec whirled around, and met with a strong fist to his right eye. He went down with a groan of pain wrenching out of him when he hit the hard concrete. Pathetic. This was too easy.

He looked up at Jonathan with the most piteous look in his eyes. _Why are you doing this? What do you want?_ Inevitable questions flashed across those eyes. Those unnerved Jonathan the most. He'd never seen such depth. But that would change soon. Then, Jonathan saw what he had been waiting for. Recognition. He wanted this stupid boy to know who the hell it was that was seeking his revenge on him.

"Sebastian," he whispered.

"You mean Jonathan. That was the most excruciating period of my life, having to impersonate that ridiculous piece of shit. Especially having to put up with all of you for days on end. Boring as fuck, the lot of you."

"You…you killed my brother," he said, conveying anger beyond any Jonathan had seen from another Shadowhunter. Well, that was nice to know, that he could still inspire hatred like that. He was doing his job right.

"Yes. And it was unbearably easy. Almost boring. But you…you're going to be great fun," Jonathan said, holding the collar of Alec's jacket firm in his hand while he reached in his pocket to grab his stele. He used Alec's own stele to draw an immobilizing rune over his temple.

Alec went limp, unable to speak or move of his own accord. Jonathan smiled one last time at the slightly frightened look in his eyes before slinging him over his shoulder and carrying him off into the night, glamoured into invisibility.

**Oh NO! He got him! Izzy did leave out the reason he needed to be careful, though. Damn you, Izzy. Be more thorough with your phone calls. **

**Something I need to clear up (thanks to katara-alchemist for bringing it to my attention): I totally had a whole paragraph typed at the end of last chapter about this, but I guess it didn't get copied over when I uploaded. Felicia is not the same vampire from the very beginning, with the rabbit. Jonathan killed that one. She was just a random vampire from another coven. He didn't use any of his primary victims because he wanted to make sure the spell worked first, and didn't want to run the risk of getting caught before the fun started. So yes, Felicia is a completely different vampire than the girl from the beginning.**

**Also! I wanted to say this before I get to next chapter: Okay, I've been trying to allude to it, but Magnus and the others AREN'T human. They are still a warlock, vampire, werewolf, and faerie. It's just that the very thing that makes them, **_**them**_**, as is with all of us, has been stolen from them. Now, there's another rule to be mindful of. These Downworlders are all not human to begin with. They are fundamentally different from humans, and the demon blood inside them (whether from birth or being changed to another species) altered them such that they can survive for some period of time without that thing that Jonathan stole from them. But humans (i.e. Alec, Peter, Julia, and Sara) will perish MUCH faster without it. Okay. Just so you know. **

**If you're still confused, dare I say….refer to the title again. **

**I'm saving replies for next chapter, because I've already written it and I'll be posting it at the same time as this one. So when you're done with this one, there should be another chapter waiting for you right behind it!**

**But please don't neglect to review this chapter before going on. I want to know what you all think right now!**


	14. The Other Half

**Here's the next chapter, as promised. Replies at the end.**

**Cassandra Clare owns all these awesome folks (well Jonathan is awesomely bad, I guess). I still own Adam. Damnit. But I'm thinking about kidnapping Tommy too cuz DAMN did he look fucking adorable in that vid? Mhmm. I'm still kind of hyperventilating.**

**Chapter Song: Dead Inside by Skillet (lyrics are kind of self explanatory…)**

**Magnus POV**

He watched Alec go out the door, waiting until he heard the final slam to let the tears fall. He knew this wasn't healthy, the way they were going on. But it had been nice for a little while. Their own little world, unpenetrated by anyone else.

But now that was over. Because Maryse Lightwood knew her son was gay, and had been seeing a warlock for a good while right under her nose. He wasn't afraid of what Maryse would do to him, or really what would happen to Alec. To tell the truth, he'd been completely okay with it when he thought about it.

Alec had been right about one thing, though. He wasn't human. No matter how human he might feel half the time, he knew it wasn't true. Alec had hit the nail on the head when he'd mentioned how wrong he felt when he remembered he couldn't do magic. Honestly, he'd been scared out of his mind when he first really regained all his faculties, after he'd returned from the meeting at the Institute when all the other Downworlders had been returned without their…Downworlder-ness.

He couldn't put his finger on what exactly was missing. He knew what the surface answer was: he'd lost his powers. But it was so much more than that. He felt utterly empty on the inside. Like he couldn't feel real emotions anymore. No, that wasn't right. He could still feel emotions; Lust, need, sadness, especially love. He knew he still loved Alec and he could feel it, but something was just…off. Like they didn't affect him as much as they used to.

Experiencing emotions was like putting them on a record player. As long as the vinyl rotated, he felt love. He knew what it entailed: not being able to bear Alec hurting, hurting himself when Alec pushed him away, all that kind of stuff. But that's all it was, a record spinning. Flat, never rising or falling in rhythm, never going beyond what was printed on side A. Like it was just automatic, and not controlled by him.

He knew he shouldn't be okay with this. It was weird and wrong, Alec could see that. He tried to cover up his uneasiness at first. But then, as he thought more and more about it, it seemed like a blessing. Alec was mortal, and now it seemed he was too. They could grow old together. In 30 years they could walk down a street without people thinking he was Alec's son. They could be a normal couple for once.

Magnus had always felt that his genetic make up was the sole source of their relationship problems, in that arena at least. If he wasn't such a freak, if he hadn't been born with the mark of the devil and those inhuman powers coursing through his veins, then he and Alec could be truly happy. He never understood why Alec loved him so much. Why someone as pure as Alec could love someone so…wrong. And he'd even been completely okay with his identity _before_ he'd met Alec. But falling for a mortal (and a mortal from a race that tends to die young), made him rethink his priorities in life. He'd already made the decision that whenever Alec did go away for good, he would follow closely after. Though he wasn't sure they'd be headed for the same place.

He sighed, wiping his eyes and going back to bed to wallow in their current misery. He knew he should also be upset about Alec being kicked out of Shadowhunting. But then again, there it was: the other half of the solution to their problem. If Alec didn't hunt demons, he'd be likely to live longer. And now they were both mortal, so problem solved. Normal couple.

As if. He flopped down on the bed and drifted off.

_Oh baby light's on but your mom's not home,_

_I'm sick of layin' down alone, Hey_

_With this fever, fever, yeah_

**_*ok just so you guys know, this is my ringtone and as I was typing, I got to this spot, and IT STARTED GOING OFF. WEEEIIIIRRRDDDD. okay back to the story*_**

He grumbled and reached for his phone. He let a small smile creep up at the ringtone. If he and Alec had a theme song, that was it. Then he remembered his fight with Alec and where he was going. His smile fell and he pressed send.

"Hello?" he said, raspy from sleep.

"Magnus? Is Alec with you?" It was Maryse.

"No, he left here a while ago. Listen, Maryse, I'm sorry we didn't tell you, but—"

"Not now, Magnus. Alec's not home, and I'm starting to get very worried."

"I'm sure he's just taking the long way. He's pretty upset that…well… that you know about us."

"I don't care about that. Did you know that the kidnapper that took you and the others is now going after the Shadowhunters closest to them?" she finished with a knowing air in her voice.

He let that sink in. "Shit," he said.

"Here. Now." She hung up.

**Yes, short I know. But hey, you got two chapters at the same time. Don't get greedy lol. Idk if I'll be able to update in the next couple of days, but be on the lookout anyway. I never know when I'll get a free moment. The other chapters are basically written in my head, I just have to hammer out the dialogue/details/etc. Anyway, hope you still like this story.**

**I also wanted to say that the end is in sight for this one. I've figured out what it will be, and I'm not going to change it, no matter how much you like or dislike it (mwahaha! Lol). BUT: I'm giving you guys a heads up about one thing. I can either just end it there (because it's rather a final ending in itself), or I can start in on a sequel (I've hashed out a possibility for one, but it will be a little harder than this story was). But don't tell me now. Wait until the end, then let me know. **

**Fly Away Dreams: It gets real cold where I am right now. It snows in December/January sometimes. Not back home though. That's way further south and practically in Louisiana lol. And you can have Adam after the tour if you want, but only for a little while! Besides, Tommy has grown on me since this: http:/ /www. youtube. com/ watch?v=6WtCJX1YmtU . He looks so adorably FuckHawt, singin' along. I kinda want to bite Taylor too. Tommy sometimes gets all the love, but he's pretty fuckin' adorable too lol. Anyway, you should be more careful next time, and you won't trip and fall. **

**StoryKitten: I fear the kittens! Lol I'm glad I made your day better. I reviewed your story also…**

**Cap'NCupcake: Okay first of all, when you mentioned Florida, my head went "Dude, so much effed up crap happens in Florida." (Dean? Supernatural? No? I'm a tad obsessed with them too. Sammy mostly. Although, one might notice that if they've watched the last few episodes and then looked at the subject matter of this story…*sneaky face*) But I digress. Well, I promised Fly Away Dreams she could have Adam after the tour was over. And as soon as I get him back, I might not want to part with him again so soon. But, you know, there's always a naughty threesome…you game? Yum. And yay for peppermint soap. I was kind of hoping for the elf hand job scenario myself, however. Oh well. And yes, I'm sure one of the seven deadly sins is "not going to B&BW when you're at the mall". You saved your soul, my friend. Good job. As for hating me, is it clear now? Lol LOVE ya.**

**Beybladeingninjaprincess: I'm glad you reviewed a lemon. Makes you feel a little naughtier doesn't it? Hehe. And yes, that picture inspired me so much I could barely stand it. I wrote the exact image into the chapter. Did you find it?**

**Bookworm24601: haha in my experience, boyfriend always takes a backseat to FF. Me and mine have had this discussion for years, even back when I was just reading and never posting. He calls it an unhealthy addiction. I call it foreplay. *grins***

**Imogine Jean San Luca: Well thanks for finally reviewing! And yeah, my update speed is a little erratic at times, but mostly I just can't wait to get new chapters up to see what people think! And thank you for offering your concrit. I like it when people call me out on stuff. I usually read each of my chapters about three times for content, character, and grammar, but I'm still human. Some stuff slips by me. I'm sure you can find a couple of mistakes in just about everything I've ever posted. When you've stared at it for 3 hours straight, sometimes it starts to run together, then you just have to say fuck it, and post. Then nice people like you point them out with fresh eyes, so I can go back and change them (and I mean nice. I hate it when people review stories and are like "your grammar sucks. What the hell are you 12?" and such). Thanks again for reviewing!**

**MorbidMandy: glad I could throw in a teeny bit of happiness in this effed up story lol. And I'm patiently waiting for G&G. But not **_**that**_** patiently.**

**READINGisLIFE: yeah its been a while lol. But I try to appease you guys every now and then. But I had to get on with the badness in this chapter. Hope you don't hate me too much lol.**

**Crazywing18: its up now! Lol and you got two! And I guess the cat's out of the bag now, so Alec doesn't have to tell his parents…but now they have bigger fish to fry. Is that just a Texan thing? Cuz it looks really dumb when I type it, but I say it all the time.**

**Katara-alchemist: thanks for bringing the vampire girl thing to my attention. I mentioned it at the end of last chapter, so I hope everyone is un-confused about that now. And of course I love Ben. How could I not? And I read the new chapter, just haven't gotten around to reviewing it. Truthfully, I want to read it again. I was half asleep, but I couldn't wait so I attempted. I went to bed sad, though, thank you very much. Lol**

**Max: here's two! Thanks for reviewing!**

**HikariMelody: yeah I wish we could, but his evil plan is only half done. EEK!**

**Jensonluvsu: AH! I went to see HP7 at midnight too, though that was a week and a half ago. Where are you from? Anyway, yeah I was in line starting at around 6:30pm, and they refused to open the doors until 11:30pm. Bastards! It was 34 degrees out. In TEXAS. We. Were. Freezing. But it was totally worth it! And yes, Adommy makes the world go round, in my opinion. Check out the vid I mentioned in Fly Away Dreams' response. Simply adorable. And maybe a little hot.**

**DisturbingEmily: You are in fact the only person who said anything about Magnus' nonchalant attitude. I wasn't sure if I should say anything, but then you called me out on it. I was wondering when someone would. So here's this chapter. I hope his inner monologue made his attitude make more sense to you. Nice catching that, btw.**

**HidingDani: Thanks for taking it on! I've looked back and noticed that damn, its pretty long. Did you do it all in one sitting? Or take breaks? Lol. Either way, thanks for reading and reviewing. I hope I'm keeping you in suspense!**

**Thank you everyone for reviewing! Be sure to give me some feedback on both this chapter and the last one. I heart feedback. Even if its just to tell me that you didn't even read the past two chapters cuz you fainted from Adommy hotness in the vid from the beginning of last chapter lol. **


	15. Dead Memories

**Okay guys. Here it is finally. I had some problems with this one and I'm still not that happy with it, but I guess it'll do. Sorry it took so long. I'm at home now, so I can update like usual probably. I have nothing else to do lol! Sad I know.**

**Cassandra Clare still owns them. Thanks to her awesomeness, I'm now re-reading the series for the EIGHTH time. Kekeke.**

**Chapter Song: Heart Shaped Box by Nirvana (I just like the feel of this song. It's kind of hopeless sounding, which fits this scene.)**

**Magnus POV**

He arrived at the Institute after what seemed like hours by cab. He would have preferred to portal there but as he was now, he was incapable. He heaved himself out of the back seat, shoving a hundred dollar bill at the driver before slamming the door and sprinting up the steps. The door was locked, and he began alternately banging on it with his entire body and ringing the doorbell obnoxiously.

After a few minutes that, again, seemed like hours, Isabelle opened the door. He didn't even offer her a hello, sweeping inside and punching the elevator button rather forcefully. When the doors opened they both shuffled inside. Magnus watched as the doors slammed shut and their image was reflected back at them.

"Magnus," Isabelle began timidly. "I'm sorry I had to tell my mother about you guys. I swear I tried not to, but then when I heard that the kidnapper—"

"I'm not mad at all. Although, I can't speak for your brother," he replied without looking at her. "But honestly, that's the least of our worries right now, don't you think?"

"Yeah, you're right. My Angel, I'm so scared I'm never going to see him again. When did he leave your place?"

"Right after you called. Well, I should say about five minutes after. We fought while he was getting dressed, so that might have slowed him down a little," Magnus retorted, still not looking at her. It wasn't that he was angry at her. He had no right to be. He was furious with himself. Yet again, because he was born a freak, the love of his life was in danger.

"I'm sorry you fought, Magnus. And I'm sorry that it was my fault. And Alec left when I called, and if I hadn't called you two would probably be together and nothing bad would happen and—"

"Isabelle," Magnus finally turned to face her, placing his hands on her shoulders, effectively calming her nervous babble that was steadily rising in pitch. "I don't blame you, and neither does Alec. It's not your fault that we fought or that he might be in danger right now. He's a grown man and he leaves the house every day, knowing danger could be out there. However, _I_ am sorry that your brother is in danger because he happens to love a freak like me," he finished with a tremble of his lower lip.

"Magnus, Alec loves you because you're a good person. You aren't a freak. And he doesn't blame you, either. Look, we're just going to have to calm down, both of us, or we aren't going to make it through all this. We don't even know what's happened. He could be fine." She didn't sound confident, but it was a nice gesture. She reached up and took his hands in hers, squeezing them gently.

"Thanks," he murmured. They both took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

"Plus, I don't want a half-crazed, high strung brother-in-law someday, so please try to control your heart rate, okay?" She smiled warmly, and he looked at her with a little shock. He hadn't dared hope for such a miracle, but having her put it in his mind, it calmed him. He tried to please himself with images of himself and Alec, happily married, gray and old. He smiled slightly.

The elevator door opened, and they were both staring into the intense, icy blue eyes of Maryse. He stared her down with his own green eyes, not caring that he couldn't intimidate her with his weird vertical pupils anymore.

"Where is he?" She asked without preamble.

"Mom, he doesn't know. It's not like he kidnapped him," Isabelle defended.

"I don't care who took him or where he is now, I just want him home. I want to know my son is okay and he's not being tortured by some half-crazed lunatic with a seraph blade. I just want my son," she trailed off, tears welling up in her eyes. Magnus was taken aback, having never seen Maryse Lightwood shed a tear in her life.

"It'll be okay," he said, trying to make himself believe it. "We'll find him. We just have to think."

Two hours later, the four Downworlders and half the Conclave had made little headway in their search. There were currently 12 of the Conclave out combing the city, while the other 20, joined by Magnus, Dian, Felicia, and Michael, sat around in the library and tried to think of some way to locate their loved ones. Magnus had put in a call to Billy and he had tried with possessions of each of the missing Nephilim, but hadn't been able to get a single tracking spell to work. They were all at a standstill.

"Are you sure that none of you remember who took you or what they did to you when you were gone?" Billy asked the four of them for the millionth time. Each time, he got the same answer.

"If we did, do you think we'd still be here? Of course not. We'd be scouring the city for a specific person. But I don't remember a damn thing except waking up and not being able to talk or drop my fangs," Felicia said shortly.

Michael sighed. "We're all a little on edge right now," he said, always the peacekeeper. He reminded Magnus of Luke Graymark a lot.

"I get little flashes of things, but nothing concrete. I don't know if they are actual memories, or just nonsense caused by whatever the kidnapper did to us," Dian provided

"Well tell us what you see. Maybe it'll jog someone's memory," Billy suggested.

"Well…" Dian thought for a moment, closing his eyes and drawing his brows together. "I remember really nice carpet. And lots of books. A Library, maybe? Or an Office?"

"Wait," said Felicia. "I remember books." She tried to think harder, but then gave up, coming up with nothing.

"Well, that's helpful," a Shadowhunter said sarcastically.

"No, it is, really," Isabelle said. "They took you to a house?" She looked at the four Downworlders.

"Yeah, I think so. I remember the carpet, mostly. That's what's sticking out in my mind. I think because I kept staring at it, rather than looking at the guy. It was dark burgundy, with gold swirling designs all over it," Dian said.

"So it was just one man?" Maryse asked.

"Yes, I think so. I don't remember there being anyone else in the room," Michael said. He was thinking hard also, his eyes clenched shut.

"I can remember what his voice sounded like, I think," Felicia said. "I can't remember what he was saying, though. I remember a lot of rhythmic talking; I just can't make out whatever it was he was saying. His voice is engrained in my head, though. It was creepy and terrible. It scared me to death."

"But you say you don't remember what he was saying?" Billy asked her.

"No. It was like he was speaking jibberish. The words made no sense," she said, frustrated.

"Wait a minute," Maryse and Billy said at the same time. "Magnus," Billy said, leveling his gaze. He looked up. "Do you remember the kidnapper talking?"

"I…," he struggled to call the images up, but it was like they were old photographs submerged in water. Too distorted to make out. It was just a blur of burgundy and gold, probably because he had been staring down at the carpet, too. Occasionally, he'd get a flash of black and white laid over the burgundy and gold. "I can't see anything clearly. I don't remember if he was talking…" He tried harder. Then he heard it. A voice speaking in a half familiar cadence. "Wait, yeah. He was talking. I can almost hear it. But it's right on my periphery. Every time I try to consciously listen in, it goes away," he said, frustrated with himself that he couldn't be of any help.

"Just relax, and try to think slowly. Did the voice have a weird rhythm?" Billy prodded, hopeful.

"Hold on, let me think," he whined, his head hurting. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying desperately to call just one image to his mind. Then, Michael did it for him.

"A book," he said. "He was holding a book."

All of a sudden, the scene became clear. He was looking down at the carpet, but there was black and white over it. An open book. As soon as he perceived the image, it was gone.

"Magnus, did you see a book? Was it a spellbook? Did the kidnapper perform a spell?" Maryse threw questions at him rapid fire, making his head hurt more.

"Yes, I think so. He laid it on the floor in front of me. But then everything goes blank." He reached back in his memory again. All of a sudden something else hit him. He unconsciously whimpered in pain, his forearm burning like fire. He reached over and put a hand on the stinging flesh, seeing the healing cut there. "I looked at it, and he sliced me with a seraph blade," he said.

"He was afraid you'd decipher it," Billy said.

"Could you?" Isabelle asked, sounding hopeful.

"I…I don't remember," he said. It was gone.

Then, under his breath, Dian muttered three words. Three words he shouldn't have known, or been able to speak.

"What did you say?" Billy inquired, his head popping up.

He repeated the words, more loudly so the rest of the room could hear. "They came to me just now. I don't know what they mean; they make no sense," he said.

"Yeah. I remember him saying those kinds of words. They sounded like a made up language or something," Felicia said.

"Lilithilien," Billy said under his breath, stunned. Magnus perked up.

"Yes," he said expectantly, the words clicking in his head.

"What's that?" Maryse asked with a puzzled look.

"The original warlock language. _The_ language. The language of Lilith," Billy explained. "If he was using a spell written in Lilithilien, it must be powerful. And bad. Beyond bad."

"How bad?" two or three of the Shadowhunters in the room asked wearily.

"Bad enough that we should be a lot more worried than we are. Lilith's original spells come from only one book. A book older than any living warlock I know of. And no warlock I know of will attempt them. The Council of Lilith forbids them, simply because they are so hard to control, and most of them are meant to cause harm, destruction, and death. Also, since the Clave almost explicitly forbids those kinds of spells, there's no point in any warlock attempting them. But obviously, this Shadowhunter has found the book and figured out how to perform something from it. But that's impossible," Billy finished.

"Obviously it is possible," one of the Shadowhunters said.

"Those spells are so infused with demonic energy that few warlocks can accomplish them. It takes very powerful demonic traits. Only warlocks born with half the blood of a Greater Demon could do it," Magnus said. Then his own words dawned on him. "Wait. A Shadowhunter shouldn't be able to perform these spells because it takes demon blood to be able to control them. Personally, I only know of one Shadowhunter that satisfies that requirement…" He trailed off looking around the table.

"_Angel_," Maryse said, covering her mouth. "I should have known. I've been to the old Morgenstern mansion before. The library has burgundy and gold carpet and cherry wood bookshelves. Jonathan Morgenstern. It couldn't be anyone else." She looked like she might faint. Magnus couldn't blame her. The Shadowhunter who had killed her youngest son now had the eldest in his grasp.

Just then, four separate balls of flame erupted on top of the table, one in front of each of the Downworlder victims. When the fires subsided, four crisp white pieces of paper appeared and fluttered down to the table top. They opened them with grim faces while the rest of the room looked on in anticipation and weariness.

_By now you should know that I afford trash like you no real sentiment at all. Alas, in this case it may prove to be the most enjoyable undertaking of my life. So, I am being generous, and giving each of you one last chance to see your beloved Nephilim before I let you punish them for good. _

_Nightfall, tomorrow._

_JM_

Under the initials was an address in Idris, which they assumed was the Morgenstern mansion. "I don't understand," Felicia said, bewildered. "What does he mean, 'before I let _you_ punish them'?"

"I have no idea, but it doesn't sound good at all," Michael said grimly. They all looked at each other with horrified expressions, not wanting to think about what the cryptic letter meant for their loved ones.

**Oh Em Gee! Not good, man, not good. I'm a little worried now…well I know what happens. And you should probably be worried too. Just sayin'. **

**So, since I had like a million reviews on the last two chapters, and they were so long ago, I'm going to wait and reply to reviews on this chapter in next chapter and just pick it up there. But I would like to personally thank each and every one of you who have reviewed ANY chapter in this story. Thanks for sticking with me, even when I update fifty times a day then randomly disappear for a month at a time. (FINALS SUCK. That is all.)**

**Anyway, I hope you still love me enough to review and keep reading. Also, as I said before, this story is nearing its climax and subsequently, its end. However, keep in mind that I told you before that I will leave it as a vote as to whether I'll write a sequel. See what you think when you get to the end of this story. It's got about three chapters or so left. **

**Much love to all my readers/reviewers. I do it all for you!**


	16. The Eyes are the Windows

**Just one more time: MAKE SURE YOU READ CHAPTER 15 "DEAD MEMORIES" BEFORE YOU READ THIS! GO BACK AND CHECK! :)**

**Hiya peeps. What's shakin? Well I found out that you can't review chapter 15 per se, if you already reviewed when I put the author's note there. So, sorry for that lol. I'm a little dumb sometimes and I don't think before I do things. However, I hope you love me again, now that I'm giving you another chapter. But you will prolly hate me when I'm done. Fair warning.**

**Cassie owns them STILL. Damn.**

**Chapter Song: Do You Call my Name by RA (I just like it. And it fits the mood, I guess. Besides, it happened to be on repeat while I wrote this.)**

**Magnus POV**

Manolos are not good for pacing. He made a mental note of that for future reference as he traced the 10 foot wide path across the foyer of the New York Institute for the umpteenth time. He'd been doing this for the past three hours or so, just trying to get his mind off what he really wanted to do, which was to rush off to Idris and strangle Jonathan Morgenstern to within an inch of his life, and then snap his neck. But no, that would be too merciful. Maybe he should burn off all his fingers and toes one by one. No, still too nice. Maybe he should make him watch MASH reruns while he did it. But a sick stupid fucker like him might like that kind of butch crap. He sighed again, turning on his expensive, now ruined heel to begin the journey back to the other side of the entryway.

Isabelle, ever his constant companion, was seated on the floor in her mid-thigh length Kate Spade LBD. Any other time, Magnus would have been horrified, but at the present moment, he didn't take heed of the fashion tragedy before him. Dust and dirt on an LBD just didn't faze him right now.

"Magnus, you've got to sit down. You're making me dizzy," she whined. How did she figure? She wasn't even looking at him, her head buried between her knees, her boot clad feet drawn up underneath her.

"Excuse me for being stir crazy. Or did you forget that a lunatic is holding your brother hostage? And has quite possibly performed some kind of sick, transformative spell on him. And may be torturing him as we speak. Honestly, I don't understand why we don't just go now," he said, exasperated.

"You know we can't. What if he gets mad and decides to kill them all because we didn't follow directions? I couldn't live with myself if that happened, Magnus. I just couldn't."

This was perhaps the only time in history that Magnus wished the rest of them agreed with Jace. He'd been his only partner in the endeavor to just go after the bastard now. But the opinions of an underage Shadowhunter and a former warlock hold very little sway, apparently. So they'd been overruled. He supposed they were right, but it didn't make it any easier to be waiting around for the sun to go down.

But they waited. All day long, they bided their time and prepared for what could possibly await them at the Morgenstern mansion.

When night finally came, it had been decided that only a bare minimum of people would go. The four former Downworlders could not be persuaded to stay, as they were each extremely attached to the kidnapped Nephilim. So it ended up being the four of them, 2 Shadowhunters that Magnus had never seen before, Maryse, Luke, Billy, Isabelle and Jace. The last two pitched such a fit that Magnus hardly recognized them as nearly adults. But he supposed they had their reasons, also. Alec was their brother. Even the thought of the name brought his breath up short with terror for his love.

Billy drew the portal and Maryse provided the location from her mind since the rest of them only knew bits and pieces of their destination. They all stepped through, eyeing their new surroundings with trepidation.

They were in a library, all right. Floor to ceiling bookshelves lined all the walls, as far as they could see. The room was enormous, and it seemed that all the lights couldn't possibly reach every corner.

"This looks only half as big as I remember," Luke said quietly, staring off to one side of the room that was shrouded in darkness. Maryse nodded.

The group began to advance toward that end of the room, trying to find a way to illuminate the cavernous space fully, so as to better see their surroundings.

As they neared the line of demarcation between the light and the darkness, Luke, Billy, Isabelle, Jace, Maryse, and the other two Shadowhunters stopped suddenly, as if they'd hit a brick wall. But nothing was in front of them. Not having noticed, Magnus, Dian, Felicia, and Michael had continued on a few steps. When they heard muffled cries coming from behind them, they looked back.

The others seemed to be behind an invisible wall. They could still hear them shouting, but it was muffled, not quite clear. They all looked at each other. Maryse, giving up, waved at them to go on. It seemed Jonathan only wanted the four of them to witness whatever he was up to.

Soon enough, the four of them hit their own invisible wall, about a foot from the edge of the darkness. They all knocked up against it, trying to find a way through. Nothing happened. They were just about to start shouting when all of a sudden, the darkness dissipated and they could see the far end of the room.

They all froze. About 10 feet away, there was a long, expensive wooden desk. On it rested four small vials. One was filled with an opalescent white substance, the next one shone faintly red, the one next to that had the color of a glowing lily pad, and lastly, one was a glowing electric blue. Dread settled into the pit of Magnus' stomach, but he couldn't figure out why. He didn't know what this meant, but he felt like he should.

As the light became brighter, the four of them noticed the other furnishings in the room. Felicia was the first to moan in terror. But soon enough, the rest of them were pressed against the invisible wall, trying desperately to reach the four figures which each rested on their own short table. There they were: Sara, Julia, Peter, and Alec. All four were motionless except for the unstable rise and fall of their chests. They were unconscious, but alive. This, however, did not dispel any fear of Magnus'. He couldn't even produce a scream.

Just then, a figure came slinking into the light. "Hello, all. Glad you could make it," Jonathan said in a cordial tone that the four Downworlders could hear clear as a bell through their barrier. "I hope you enjoy the show." He smiled menacingly.

"Please, just let them go! They haven't done anything to you! Take us, just don't hurt them!" Dian was pleading, kneeling on the floor next to the clear wall. His eyes darted back and forth between his friend and the villain.

"But that wouldn't be any fun, now would it?" Jonathan said sincerely.

Magnus couldn't get his breathing to steady. His heart was racing, even fast for a human pace. His body felt colder than normal, frozen with fear. His eyes hadn't left Alec's motionless body. They were riveted on the rise and fall of his chest, which had no rhythm and grew shallower by the second. He faintly registered that his nails were aching from digging into the invisible barrier.

"What are you going to do to them?" Felicia asked, panic-stricken.

"Well, I've already done to them exactly what I did you to," Jonathan answered cryptically.

"What do you mean?" asked Dian.

"Haven't you noticed in the past few weeks, that you feel a bit…different? Off, somehow? You never stopped to wonder what it is that's missing?"

"It's obvious, isn't it?" Michael said in a strained tone. "You took away what makes us Downworlders. I figured it was because you hate Downworlders, and you decided to do away with the whole demon disease thing."

"A sporting guess, werewolf. Nice try. But then, how could I have done the same to these stupid Nephilim you see before you?" At his words, Felicia let out a hiss that didn't sound that menacing, considering she didn't have fangs. Jonathan chuckled. "I must say, you all are a lot more dense than I thought. If I'd taken away your Downworlderness, made you _human_, wouldn't you feel normal? Michael and Felicia, wouldn't you have gotten your Marks back? And you, warlock," he slid his gaze over to Magnus. "Wouldn't you feel normal instead of wincing every time you go to use the power you don't have anymore?" He paused. "None of you notice that you feel a little…empty inside? It's because you are. I told you when I had each of you, I've taken that which makes you _you_. You never stopped to think about what that means?"

Magnus' brain was working slowly, but he tried to listen to Jonathan's words and make sense of them. He thought back to a few days ago, when he was thinking about him and Alec growing old together, now that he was no longer immortal. He'd thought about how he still loved Alec dearly, but something wasn't right. He couldn't experience the highs and lows of love anymore. All emotion was flat inside him, like playing a record. He didn't know what this meant at the time, but now Jonathan's words were starting to sink in. He couldn't quite grasp it in its entirety, but meaning was creeping up in his veins.

"The fact that the four of you are still gallivanting around like nothing's wrong is just a testament to your…inhumanity. I've taken the same thing from these four Nephilim, and they are nothing without it. Yet you all remain animated by something altogether disgusting. You aren't anywhere near human, no matter how much you try to act like it. You will never be human, and your kind shouldn't be allowed to associate with higher beings. However, I guess you could say these Shadowhunters brought this fate upon themselves, by choosing to associate with such filth as you.

"You see, I've stolen from them the same thing I've stolen from you," he paused and looked pointedly at the four glowing vials on the desk, then back at the four Downworlders, "and I've disposed of each specimen. But since they can't survive for very long without it, I'm going to give them replacements. The thing is, if the replacements come from bodies that aren't human, they probably won't survive very long anyway. But at least they will come to know the true consequences of being 'one' with Downworlders," he said, spitting the last word as if it tasted like ash.

While the others stood frozen behind their barrier, Jonathan made his way over to the desk, picking up the vial containing the opaque white liquid. He uncapped it and walked over to Sara, lying lifeless on her table. He pried her mouth open and poured the contents down her throat.

A few seconds passed, and nothing happened. But then, she started to twitch slightly. She opened her eyes and cried out in pain.

"God, please no," Michael whispered in terror.

Sara began to clutch her ribcage and continued to cry out, over and over. Then, the others started noticing small changes in her features. Her chest cavity grew painfully. Her ears elongated, but not gracefully like a real werewolf's. They were distorted and looked mangled and painful. Her fingernails were trying to grow into claws, but they were stunted. It was like she was caught mid-change. Magnus had never seen such a thing. He had to look away.

All this time, Sara was screaming at the top of her lungs. She started gasping for breath as the hair on her arms started to lengthen. But there was no way she could actually become a werewolf. She hadn't been bitten. The Marks on her arms and neck began to sizzle and dissipate, at war with the were disease running through her veins. Her cries became more strangled, and soon died out. There was a flash in her eyes, and then she was still. Michael hit the floor like he'd been pushed down.

When he came back up, his eyes were yellow and his teeth had become razor sharp. He fought off the change, shifting back to his human form.

"One down, three to go," Jonathan quipped delightedly.

He retrieved the glowing red vial off the desk and made his way over to Julia. Before he got to her, Felicia was already screaming.

"Please! Stop! Just kill me! Not my mother!" she whined. The villain paid her no heed.

"Ever wonder why they tell humans not to swallow too much of their own blood?" he said.

He poured the contents of the vial down the woman's throat. Immediately, her eyes flew open and she began to gag. She tried to sit up, but found she didn't have the strength. She turned her head to the side and a long stream of blood came pouring from her mouth and nose. She tried to breathe, but no air would make it through the constant flow of red. It started to run down from her eyes as well. She whimpered in pain, hands going to her jaw. When her mouth opened a little wider, the onlookers could see that makeshift fangs had appeared to partially protrude from her gums, causing more blood to come pouring from her mouth. Magnus couldn't tell where her tears ended and the blood in her eyes began. Her body jerked over and over, until the flow began to lessen. Steadily, her body grew still, and ceased to move. Her eyes stared off into space. They flashed.

Felicia cried out like she'd been punched in the stomach. She looked up, and her eyes shone with immortality once again. Her fangs had slid out and she looked outraged. But on top of that, there were fat, wet tears streaming down her face. Michael took her in his arms and they both sobbed for their family members.

When Dian and Magnus looked up, Jonathan was standing beside Peter with the vial that was glowing green. Dian gulped loudly.

"One might think that because Fae have angel blood in them, they should be on our level. Ha! Right. We have angel blood, and yet we do not have the disfigurement that plagues your race, faerie. Behold…" he said, as he poured out the green liquid into Peter's mouth.

His head thrashed from side to side, and he whimpered. Dian cried as they watched Peter's hands transform. The Shadowhunter boy shrieked in pain as his fingers grew leaves, turning to twigs. They stiffened into place, and he couldn't bend his knuckles anymore. His hair turned a sickly pale blue, and his skin followed suit soon after. He kept thrashing, gasping every now and then, calling out to Dian to save him. Dian melted into a puddle on the floor, his hands pressed against the barrier.

"Please! Stop it!" he cried. Like when the others had pleaded, Jonathan took no notice. He simply smiled with menacing pleasure.

"I assume his blood is following the same pattern? If his body is turning to a plant, then wouldn't that mean his blood would turn to sap? Humans can't live with tree sap running through their veins, can they? I guess we'll find out," he laughed.

Peter's now blue face grew paler and paler until it was stark white. Just like the others, his body steadily grew more still, ceasing all movement, and his eyes flashing.

Magnus knew what he would see if he looked at Dian now. His hair would be blue again, the small traceries of vines would encircle his wrists, and the small tattoo of a leaf would adorn his right cheek under his eye. Magnus didn't need to look at him. He was too frozen at the moment to think of anything else than the inevitable.

He watched with horror as Jonathan retrieved the last vial from the desk and sauntered up next to Alec's still body. He didn't know if his heart was still beating rapid fire or if it had stopped completely. All he wanted was to get to Alec, but it was impossible. He was going to have to stand here and watch Alec die by something from him. He swallowed back bile, already letting the tears fall. It was hopeless.

"You were right. I _hate_ Downworlders. I wish you would all just collectively jump off a cliff. Or step into a volcano. Honestly, there are few things I hate more than filthy half-humans like you all." He stopped a moment, staring down at Alec's angelic face. Magnus noted that even unconscious and dying, it was still serene and beautiful.

"You know what I hate more than anything, though?" Jonathan sneered. "Pure, unadulterated, completely mutual, one hundred percent true _love_." He annunciated each word with enough venom to murder an elephant. Then, he poured the gleaming contents of the vial into the slack jaw of the unconcious boy as the rest looked on in horror.

"You know, I've always wondered what would happen to a Shadowhunter if he had unharnessed warlock power pumping through his veins. Guess we're about to find out…"

Magnus' breath had ceased. He felt nothing but terror and longing. He watched Alec like a hawk, looking for any sign that the torture was beginning.

Slowly, Alec's body began to twitch. His fingers tightened into fists, then let go, then tightened again. His face scrunched in pain, and Magnus gulped in a ragged breath.

Then it began. Alec whimpered. Then his breaths started accelerating. He was heaving in and out rapidly in a matter of seconds. His entire body was trembling, shaking. And then, he let out the most blood curdling shriek Magnus had ever heard. It brought the warlock to his knees.

Tears were streaming down Alec's face, though his eyes were clenched shut. He continued to scream in agony, and Magnus started wailing and throwing himself up against the invisible barrier.

"Alec! Baby I'm sorry! Oh, Alec! Damn you, you fucking lunatic!" he yelled at Jonathan, who stood back with a smirk on his face, taking in the action.

Magnus knew what was happening. Alec's entire body was burning from the inside out. He'd watched it happen to his father. And now it was happening to Alec on a much larger scale. Magnus watched in agony as Alec's skin turned a vicious red, showing the burning flesh underneath. Magnus could barely see through his tears now. Alec was thrashing and clutching at various parts of his chest, arms, and face, clawing at the skin, trying to get it to stop burning. His entire face was wet with miles of tears.

"Now you see what I meant when I said I would let _you_ punish them?" Jonathan addressed the four Downworlders. He walked back over to Alec, standing right next to him calmly while the boy continued to shriek and cry out Magnus' name, though he was getting quieter. Magnus supposed that was a blessing, in some far corner of his mind. "In case you haven't all caught on by now," Jonathan continued, "I'll give you a hint." He grabbed Alec's chin, stilling his wildly thrashing head for a moment and staring down at him. "It's true what they say: the eyes are the window to the _soul_," Jonathan finished with a flourish, turning Alec's face to the agonized audience.

Magnus swallowed back bile again when he saw. Alec's eyes, his beautiful crystal blue eyes, Magnus' favorite part of him, those eyes that always showed whatever emotion the boy was feeling, no matter how well the rest of his face hid it. Those eyes, still their exquisitely gorgeous oceanic blue, now had vertical slit pupils, like a cat's. And there was more pain in them than Magnus had seen in 800 years.

**Okay. I'm crying now. I'm so, so, so sorry for doing this to you. I've already apologized to Magnus countless times, but he's not hearing it. So I guess I'll go sit in a corner and write the next chapter because I'm pretty sure no one's going to talk to me for a while. *tear***

**Malec 4 eva: Haha I'm sorry I knew I was going to get a few people with that "fake chapter". But hopefully you liked it when I actually posted the chapter?**

**StoryKitten: here you go! Hate me yet? **

**The PerfectAspiration: I am not dead! Yay! Lol hope you liked these last two chapters.**

**Lenkagamine133: haha I didn't think your name was that bad. And I, too, LOVE my adam pic. I think I'm gonna change it to a better one tho. Maybe the one that's my background on my computer…**

**Jensonluvsu: haha I like to think I'm a dedicated author, but after chapters like this, I think I just qualify as a dedicated masochist.**

**Neko-ochz: thanks for reading! Hope you liked the last couple of chaps!**

**READINGisLIFE: sometimes I'm annoyed by myself. Because, well, I just can't stop torturing them. I love angst, what can I say? Sorry! Lol**

**DisturbingEmily: its always good to wake up and get right to reading malec. Its good for the mind and shtuff.**

**Shi-Toyu: Glad you're liking it! And I'm glad you're scared shitless. Obviously, after reading this chapter, you know you should have been. Sorry! We shall see how this plays out…sequel probably? Lol**

**Bookworm24601: yea its cuz I replaced the chapter. So I am just going on with this one. So hopefully yall should get a note saying a new chapter has been given. Obviously you did, if you are reading this…duh Brooke…**

**IzzyLightwood9: yea Magnus does look a bit tired these days. All this business with the Malicious Morgenstern Mothafucka is wearing him down quite a bit. Plus he has no magic to help along with the sparkly-ness. Sad.**

**HikariMelody: he's like Jason/Freddy/Michael Meyers! He always comes back even when you kill him! AHHH!**

**Cap'NCupcake: *hides in corner from cupcake's rage* Hmm…I might just hide from you at a special place I like to call…Pigfarts! Why do I need a rocketship, you say? Because it's on MARS! Oh yes. Very Potter Musical=awesomesauce.**

**AverageDreamer: I hope you still like me after this chapter…not likely though…lol**

**If I missed anyone, I'm SO SORRY! But I swear I'll be more diligent with the replies next time. I'm working on the next chapter now, so probably soon. Love you guys. REVIEW!**


	17. A Sign from Lilith

**Hallooooo! So, I know you all hate me. Some more than others…*cowers in corner from Jordan* So I'll just get on with it. **

**Cassandra Clare owns them. How I wish they were mine! But its okay. Tommy keeps me company and we sit around and eat licorice and gush about what a smexy diva Adam is. Cuz, ya know, he is.**

**Chapter Song: Seven by Revis (I've noticed I've put a lot of rock songs in this playlist. That's just my mindset lately I guess. But this one has really good lyrics for this chapter. Give it a listen.)**

**Magnus POV**

He couldn't hear anything but the sound of his name, rolling off agonized lips over and over, ripping his heart pieces. He kept throwing himself against the barrier, but it did absolutely nothing except make his body ache all over. He never took his gaze off Alec's distorted eyes, which were still swimming behind endless tears. Between gasps and cries, Alec's hand feebly reached out in his direction, though they were still about 10 feet from each other. It might as well have been miles. There was nothing Magnus could do but endure it.

Slowly but surely, Alec's sobs grew quieter, the tremors in his body more subtle. His hand was still outstretched toward Magnus, as if the warlock could reach out and touch his fingertips and all the pain would go away. Then, just like the day at the Institute when Isabelle found them out, he mouthed three words across the room. Three wonderful, heart-wrenching words, and then his arm went limp, hanging off the side of the table. His eyes stared unseeing into space, and a few seconds later the telltale flash followed.

Magnus doubled over like he'd been punched in the stomach. His entire body grew warm and his heart rate had slowed to its normal pace. When he opened his eyes, his vision had returned to its usual sharpness, before Jonathan's experiment. He slowly lifted his gaze to the love of his life.

Alec lay still and lifeless, his eyes just as Magnus remembered them from the first time they met. Even in death, they were luminous and full of depth. But Magnus knew there was nothing behind them. He had nothing inside now. Jonathan had taken Alec's soul and "disposed" of it, and when each of the Shadowhunters died, their replacement souls had been sucked back into their owners.

Now there stood four Downworlders, looking as they had before the whole mess began, except maybe that they all looked utterly broken and hopeless after having witnessed all that had just happened. Magnus heard the others approach behind them, apparently their barrier had broken. He tried to counter the spell that held the final invisible wall between them and the four dead Nephilim, but he couldn't get his power to work right. He was too distraught and in shock to control it.

Jonathan had disappeared into the shadows. Honestly, Magnus could care less what happened to him. He should probably want to kill him, torture him like he'd tortured the others, but all he could focus on was Alec. Lifeless, paling Alec lying across the room. Suddenly, his anger flared violently, and he beat a fist against the barrier. They all saw no wall, but they heard it shatter and hit the floor in millions of pieces, a few blue sparks rising up from the floor.

They stood stunned for a moment before they all ran to their loved ones. When Magnus reached Alec's side, he took his hand. It was so cold, not at all like he remembered. He reached up and slipped Alec's eyes closed and placed his hand next to him on the table. He was kneeling next to him, and Isabelle came up behind him, followed by her mother.

"My Angel," Isabelle sobbed in disbelief. "What happened? Is he…?"

"Yes. And I think it's better you don't know how," Magnus said in a dead tone.

"My baby," Maryse said quietly, coming to Alec's other side and taking his hand in hers. A single tear slid down her cheek. "He will die. I can promise you that. And he will suffer. He's taken both my sons from me, and he will pay for that," she vowed. Magnus, for once, admired her single-mindedness.

Magnus was beyond words anymore. He simply laid his head down on Alec's motionless chest, trying to listen to his unbeating heart. But he was gone. And it was all Magnus' fault. He had done this to Alec, Jonathan was right about that much. His own power had boiled and burned his love from the inside out. He would never, ever forgive himself for what he'd done to the only person he'd truly given everything to.

His memories hit him like a Mack truck, clenching his heart and making it shatter into a million pieces. He thought of all the stolen kisses and glances when no one was looking. He thought of Alec's toned, exquisitely scarred body moving beneath him the first time they made love, when Alec trusted him enough to give him his virginity. He thought of Alec's sweet lips, mouthing those three words just before he succumbed. Magnus let his sobs rack his body, let the tears fall unhindered over Alec's heart.

A few hours later, the room was filled with the rest of Conclave, mourning the fallen and looking for clues as to where Jonathan could have disappeared to. He found himself wandering about the room aimlessly, not really seeing anything. He wasn't paying attention, and all of a sudden he felt a sharp pain in his shin as he ran headlong into the long desk at one end of the room. He looked down on top of it.

There was a book lying open to a page near the end. He began to read the crackling, swirling script. It was, indeed, Lilithilien. He read the spell that Jonathan had used on them. It was meant to extract the soul and keep it for a certain period of time. That's what he'd done. He'd taken their souls and kept them so he could torture their Shadowhunters, knowing the Downworlders' essence wouldn't be able to be held by human bodies. It was sick and twisted, and it had worked.

Magnus didn't think this book existed anymore. It was twice as old as he was. Somehow, it should have been destroyed long ago. But here it was, with its most powerful spells, most expressly forbidden by the Clave. They were forbidden because most all of these spells were ridiculously powerful and dangerous. Also, Magnus had been right when he'd said it took the blood of a Greater Demon to make them work. And he knew he did not have that.

Still, he lifted the book off the table, studying a few other pages absently. His life was over, he knew. He would end it as soon as he was alone. Maybe he could perform the spell on himself, or maybe there was another spell in here to kill him, and make him suffer at the same time. All he wanted was to die.

He flipped through a couple more pages, stopping at a page near the middle. It had a simple name. The Gift. He read on, and a small smile played at the corner of his mouth. It sounded like a sign from Lilith, that he should stumble across this spell. He knew it probably wouldn't work, since he had no Greater Demon blood in him and this was one of the most difficult spells in the book. But it was worth it. If he died, well then he would just have accomplished his original plan. But if it worked, if it actually worked, then at least he could have some shred of redemption.

**Okay I'm just posting this real quick. I'll save replies for next chapter. And I'm just warning you, the next chapter is the last one. No whining! Lol Just wait and see if you want me to continue or not. Love you guys. REVIEW! Going to get my hair cut now…**


	18. The Gift

**Well here it is, folks. We have come to the end. It's been real. I really should keep a tally of all the death threats I've received from this and from Everything Is Governed lol. I didn't get that many on Connected…do you guys just love Alec more? Personally, the only time I ever cried hysterically while writing was when I wrote the earlier chapters of Connected…although sometimes I shed a few tears here and there on EIG. This one too. But seriously, you guys are scary…so I'll appease you…sort of. Here's the last chapter. **

**Chapter Song: (If you don't watch this BEFORE you read, and then think about the raw emotion in his voice WHILE you read, **_**I **_**will kill **_**YOU**_**. How you like them apples, folks? Seriously, though. If you never take another music suggestion of mine, please take this one. It sets the tone, and the mood of the chapter follows the highs and lows of the song: calm and serene at first, building to a climax of emotion, and then settling down into serenity again.)**

**http:/ /www. youtube. com/ watch?v=_XrHrSRpkHc **

**(remove spaces and enjoy. That sexy bitch. If you aren't into it, you could always listen to that other version by that dude…what's his name? he's married to Heidi Klum I think…whatever. Lol)**

**To me he's like a growing addiction I can't deny.**

**Cassie still owns them. **

**Magnus POV**

He was resolved. He felt oddly at peace, knowing what was to come. He knew at least that, one way or the other, he'd have some closure. Either way, he'd be done. Either way, he'd have accomplished the desired ends. He sighed inwardly, calming himself.

He'd made sure to keep his musings to himself, and away from Billy, until he'd memorized the short spell and hidden the book. Billy was the only other one in the vicinity that could decipher the spell, and thus try to talk him out of it. It was ridiculous, yes, but also hopeful. He was only slightly weary; but the book said that as long as the conditions were satisfied, the spell should go off without a hitch. He was pretty sure he had one of those conditions in the bag. The other, the fact that he needed Greater Demon blood to perform the spell accurately, was making him a little worried. But, he thought, if he put _everything_ he had into it, instead of just the normal flow of energy, it should provide enough oomph to pull it off.

One more thing that nagged at his mind was that this spell was alarmingly similar to the one Jonathan had used. But he knew this one was a lot simpler, and a lot more powerful. And he was going to use it as it was intended. That gave him comfort.

Isabelle had wandered over to where he sat in a velvet loveseat, staring out the window. At first he was weirded out that she was so attached to him the last few days, but he came to understand that even though she was upset also because Alec was her brother, her woman's intuition and her mothering instinct drew her to him, and she could sense his pain.

She stood behind him and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. Without shifting his gaze, he reached up and grasped her hand where it lay. He heard a small sob. He didn't know if it was his or hers. His, he suspected, since she gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze, and came around to sit down beside him. She looked at him imploringly, and beckoned him closer. He leaned down and placed his head in her lap, shocking himself when the material of her dress soaked up the wetness on his face.

"I miss him so much already," she said quietly, her voice raspy from crying. She absently started running her fingers through his limp hair. His heart clenched, remembering the way her brother used to do this exact thing, in this exact position, with so much gentleness he didn't think it possible from a hardened demon hunter. The tears came again, and his body shook with sobs. He could hear she had resumed crying also. But she kept running her fingers through his hair, rubbing his shoulder, and caressing his tears away with gentle fingertips. He supposed they were kindred spirits.

When they had quieted down again, his resolve came back. "It's all going to be okay. I promise." He said it with finality, and figured she couldn't possibly know what he meant. He was right. She took it as a reassuring gesture in their time of loss. Nothing more. Little did she know, he was betting his life on that statement.

He moved to sit up, and he wiped the tears from her rosy cheeks. He was again reminded of her brother, with his high color every time Magnus threw a flirtatious line at him. But Magnus had no more tears, just determination.

He left her on the couch and went over to where Alec's body still lay, where he'd taken his last breaths, where he'd said his last words. His face was so beautiful and serene, he was like a cherub.

"So beautiful," he whispered. He waited in vain for the telltale blood to rush into Alec's cheeks. It never came. He said a silent prayer to Lilith.

Isabelle had walked over to his side and knelt down next to him. Where they were situated, Alec's body was about chest height to them. It was like they were kneeling at an altar.

Magnus doubted himself and his memory for a moment, and pulled the book out of his jacket for a quick reference, sliding it back in before Isabelle could peek at it.

"What was that?" she asked quietly, looking at him.

"A means to an end," he said, still looking at Alec.

"Magnus, what's wrong with you? Besides the obvious, I mean. You just don't look like yourself. You look…" she trailed off, not finding the right words.

"Nothing's wrong, Isabelle. I'm just ready for it to be over."

"What do you mean? Magnus…" she was looking at him with puzzlement now. "Magnus, what was that you put in your pocket just now?"

He didn't answer her. He'd already started rolling over the incantation in his head.

**Isabelle POV**

She couldn't put her finger on how he looked. Sure, she supposed he was distraught, just as she was. She had never doubted the existence of his feelings for her brother, but she may have underestimated them. She could see that Alec was everything to him, and he was slowly dying inside without him.

He was gazing at her brother's body like it would reanimate itself at any moment. That Alec would wake up and blush at the sight of the two of them staring at him so intently. But she knew it would never happen.

She was getting worried. He had a very resolved look on his face. Somehow, she knew instinctively that this was a bad sign. She dared to reach over into his jacket pocket. He didn't even acknowledge her; he looked like he was rhythmically reciting something over and over in his head.

Her hands encountered something small and ragged, and she pulled out a very old book. She began to thumb through it, but the language looked like jibberish to her. All weird signs and symbols and numbers. This was a spellbook, the one that Jonathan had used.

"What are you doing with this, Magnus? What are you going to do?" she could tell by her voice that hysteria was creeping up in her nerves. She didn't trust anything that came out of this book, after what had happened. But she didn't know what to do. Magnus wouldn't respond to her. Then a thought struck her. She took the book and leapt up and across the room to the man with the tiger tail.

"Billy," she asked quietly, drawing him away from his reverie in an obscure corner, away from the rest of the Nephilim. "I don't know what he's planning, but Magnus had this in his pocket, he looked at it, and now he won't even look at me."

Billy looked over at his friend, kneeling next to the body of Alec. Then he looked at her, and held out his hand for the book. His eyes grew wide.

"It's the one Jonathan used, I think," she provided.

"Yes. These spells are written in the original language," he said, thumbing through the book.

"I think Magnus is up to something. Something not altogether good," she said wearily. Billy continued to flip through the pages until he came to about the middle, at which time the book simply fell open, like it had been held in that position for a long while. He studied the page, and his eyes grew wider, and he looked up at her.

"If this is what he's doing, I'll kill him. It's not possible."

"What? What is it?" she asked pointedly.

"This particular spell…it involves a few conditions that must be met. I'm not sure they are, in his case. I know one isn't, for sure," he said. He took the book with him and she followed him over to Magnus' side. "Magnus, is this what you're up to?" he asked, holding the book up to the page they had been looking at. Magnus simply looked to the book, then to Billy, then back to Alec.

"Isabelle, tell him I'm sorry. He'll be half demon. There's nothing I can do to change that," he said quietly.

"What are you talking about? Magnus!" Isabelle shook his shoulder, but he paid no attention. He started speaking in an ancient language that sounded like pain personified. It hurt her ears, even though he was barely speaking above a whisper.

"Magnus Bane, stop this. This is not the answer!" Billy cried.

Magnus stopped midsentence. "At least this way I tried! At least I'm not going to sit around doing nothing when I can use my freak nature one last time to try and put this right!" His outburst caused half the room to look over at their little group. No one came closer, however. He continued the incantation.

"Billy, what's he doing?" she begged. Billy looked at her grimly.

"The spell is called 'The Gift'. It is a way for a warlock to replace a life ended with his own."

"How?"

"The spell effectively replaces the dead heart with his own," Billy said.

"Wait…you mean, literally? Like, his _heart_?" she was astounded.

"Yes. That's the 'gift'. He's trying to give his heart to Alec. Along with that, comes his blood and his life. As long as he is alive and well, his heart would bring life to the one he gives it to. But, in the process, he is left without a heart inside his chest." He paled, looking at Magnus, who had almost finished the incantation. "Please, please don't do this, Magnus. It won't work, you know that!" But Magnus continued like he hadn't spoken. He was nearing the end of the string of words. He reached into his jacket and pulled out a small sharp dagger. He raised it, speaking more of the painful language, and sliced it down the inside of his wrist.

"Billy! Please do something! Why don't you think it'll work?" Isabelle pleaded as she looked at the only other person in the world who understood her pain and loss of her brother.

"Isabelle, stand back," Billy said, grabbing her and pulling her a few feet away. Magnus was still speaking. Billy went back to the book. "It says that one particularly express condition must be met. But that doesn't even matter. Magnus doesn't have the power to pull this spell off. He just doesn't have it!" He looked at war with himself, wanting to save his friend but not wanting to get close when Magnus had a sharp dagger in his hand.

"What's the condition?" Isabelle asked, watching Magnus like a hawk.

"It only works if the giver's heart already belongs to the receiver. It takes a very, very powerful bond," Billy said.

They both stood in silence. Magnus had finished the incantation, and raised his injured wrist to his mouth. When he put it back down, his lips were stained with a dark, wet liquid that looked like dripping reddish purple lipstick. Half demon blood.

He leaned over as they watched in horror. His clean hand came up and swept the hair off Alec's forehead, soft as a feather.

"Magnus, don't do this! It's over! He's gone!" Isabelle cried as Billy held onto her, preventing her from running over and getting shocked by the veil of blue flame that had erupted around the couple.

His lips a few inches from Alec's face, Magnus spoke his final words in English. "I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine," he said quietly.

"Magnus, don't!" Billy pleaded.

Magnus closed the distance, and pressed his bloodstained lips to Alec's as the entire room looked on, having had their attention drawn by the cries of Billy and Isabelle. They were silent now, in shock.

When Magnus leaned back up to look at them, Isabelle noted that he looked very serene. Immediately, she noticed his skin paling. It was so rapid, she couldn't have made it to his side in the time it took to completely wash out of him. She stared at his eyes. They grew paler and paler, shifting to a ghostly, cloudy white, the green-gold cat's eyes drifting back into a milky abyss. The telltale sign of a warlock's life fading.

Just before his eyes turned completely opaque, a small smile graced his lips. It was like he wasn't blind at all, but could see and whatever he saw put him at peace. He gently laid his head over Alec's chest and drew his last breath, their fingers intertwined.

**Okay. You are free to kill me now that it's over. Just remember, if you kill me, you won't have the possibility of a sequel.**

**So here's the lowdown on that. I'm putting it up for discussion because you could take this ending a few ways: that it worked, and just after Magnus succumbs Alec wakes up and lives his life, with Magnus' heart pumping his blood through Alec's veins. Everyone is forever grateful to Magnus for his sacrifice, yada yada. Alec grieves, but he's okay in the end. OR: Billy was right, and Magnus didn't have the juice. He's dead, but the spell didn't transfer over to Alec right, and Alec wasn't saved. They are both gone, dead forever and everyone mourns. OR: It **_**almost**_** worked. His heart did already belong to Alec, and therefore the condition was met. And he threw everything he had into the spell, but because he didn't have quite enough demonic energy, it didn't work completely. But Magnus is without a heart, so he "dies". Alec, however, is pulled back from death…"almost". Basically they are both wandering in an endless limbo, so neither is actually fully "dead". Because they are different beings, and Magnus is half demon, obviously they don't go to the same place. But there is a possibility that if they search hard enough, they might find each other. And possibly a way out?**

**That last scenario would be the sequel. Now, obviously, that's gonna be a bit hard to hammer out the details. It would consist of a lot of flashbacks to be honest, probably, plus a lot of reflection and not much "action". But there would be a solid plot, and lots of Malec. So I'm leaving it up to you guys. **

**Thank you to all of the reviewers! All of you who have stuck with me through all this crazy story deserve awards, even if you threatened to kill me on more than one occasion.**

**For the last chapter, special thanks to:**

**The PerfectAspiration, READINGisLIFE, Fly Away Dreams, dramaticglitterdemon, HikariMelody, CrescentKyuubi, Patricia Sage, Jinxed Ink, DisturbingEmily, jinnabun, lenkagamine133, Cap'NCupcake, MagusBaneLove13, Shi-Toyu, and Bookworm24601 for reviewing! Sorry I couldn't actually type up responses. I'm dead tired, and I'm going to bed. Just wanted to get this out to all of you.**

**I love ALL my reviewers! All of you who reviewed even just one chapter! You are honestly the reason I keep doing this. Some of you bring me to tears by telling me I bring you to tears. I try to touch people with my writing, and I can't thank my lucky stars enough that Cassandra Clare gave me these wonderful characters to work with, and this awesome fandom who still reads my stories even though I continue to put them through hell. Much love.**

**PS. Adam is the sexiest DIVA alive. Magnus is the sexiest DIVA on paper. That is all.**


	19. New Story!

**Hey guys! Just wanted to let you all know I've started a new story already! It had already been brewing in my mind, and well I finally got the courage to start it. It's AH/AU, and I'm hoping you'll love it! Go check it out! I'm posting the first chapter in a few minutes, so once you get the notification for this, be waiting for the next coming right after it! **

**Love you guys. I do it all for you. Hugs and Malec and Adommy.**

**Brooke**


	20. Very Important PSAAuthor's Note

Hello everyone!

First of all, I'm sorry if I freaked you out by posting this, since FFn will probably alert you and you'll think I've updated all these stories, but bear with me. I _AM _updating All's Fair in Love and Glamour in a bit, but I wanted to come here and give you guys a little explanation as to where I've been and what's happening with my fics now.

If you haven't heard, FFn has been doing a major purge of stories with explicit content. I don't know if you guys have noticed, but…_all_ my stories are explicit LOL. Inner Animal was deleted a few weeks ago without notice. So, in light of that, I've decided to move my entire fic archive over to a livejournal account specifically for my fic. There are several advantages to this, for me and for you. For one, for me it's a ton easier to upload chapters on the platform on LJ. FFn is very convoluted and it's kind of always been a hassle. Also, links are supported on livejournal, so now in my chapter updates I can link you guys to videos and/or songs straight from the fic page, instead of you having to youtube songs yourself, if you want to listen to them. Lots of other things are cooler about livejournal than FFn, and I hope you'll join me in enjoying the ease of use it has to offer over FFn.

Currently, only the Glamour stories are up on livejournal, but I WILL be putting every single one of my stories there in the near future. It's taken me this long to get it up and running because, well, the Glamour stories are huge and it took a lot of time to upload them all. (I think I've clocked it in somewhere around 32 hours total, but I can't be entirely sure. This on top of school and everything else, I hope you can understand why it's taken me so long and I hope you can forgive me.)

For those of you who don't already follow it, it would be a good idea to follow _**theglamourverse . tumblr . com**_, as I always post links to updates there, as well as a whole slew of extra stuff like pictures and character facts/headcanons and fanart and stuff. And, as I will no longer be posting to FFn at all, that is where you will be able to find me and talk to me. Always feel free to drop me an ask if you're confused about something or just want to talk! I always get back fairly quickly, provided I have the free time. You can also ask the Glamour characters questions on there, and submit headcanons of your own. It's fun stuff! You don't have to follow, but if you don't have an LJ account where you can get alerts for my updates, that's the only place you'll be able to find them.

So, to reiterate, I will no longer be posting updates to FFn in the future. I will leave my account open, so that those who have alerts or favorites on me can see this message if they aren't around right this moment. I want to thank all of you for your continued love and support (and general flailing that I am soooo not worthy of) as I've made this transition. I hope you continue to follow my stories, and feel free to talk to me! I don't bite! I've loved talking to those of you who've messaged me and asked me how I've been. It is beyond appreciated. Life gets in the way sometimes, and I'm glad most of you understand that.

So, here's to new beginnings! As I said, All's Fair in Love and Glamour Ch15 will be up as soon as Grace does her beta magic. _**I will provide the link to the new livejournal (where you will be able to find ALL my fics) on theglamourverse tumblr. There will also eventually be a link on the sidebar of that tumblr where you can find posts for my non-glamourverse fics (like Tutor!Alec and other one-shot-ish type things) when/if they update. On the livejournal, there will be tags for those. :)**_

Much true love for all of you,

Brooke


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